loitering Member Profile

...See more I'm a trans woman, 21, just over a year on HRT, autistic pretty bad socially, work a male-dominated physical job and boymoding is getting difficult mentally. Coworkers are all nice (to my face) but some are religious, those who asked me if I was a boy or girl expressed their disdain for the idea of transition after I assured them I'm a man. I want to come out but I don't think I can handle the opposition. I'm worried they'll stop liking me, or worse, harrassment, violence But I hate hearing my dead name, and big strong man bro boss bud, slouching and wearing clothes I hate to hide the changes from HRT. Only women's clothing I let myself wear these days is a hoodie t-shirt and sweatpants when lounging at home, so that boymode doesn't feel so bad; some softcore repression. I'm scared of losing the plausible deniability afforded by my button ups and cargo pants. If someone takes issue with my androgynity I can say of course I'm a man and then we're best pals. I'm only talking about work here cos I don't go outside otherwise. I would like to, but I got no close friends, and unbearable anxiety in androgynous-to-female clothing. I'm even worried about people seeing me through the closed blinds on my bedroom windows. I think my anxiety comes from all the transphobia I internalized over the years, but I don't know if I can even get rid of it. At this point I'm starting to think I'm too far gone. I can logically reason that there's nothing wrong with it and I'm valid and a woman but I feel so scared and ashamed of being trans. How can I overcome the fear and shame around presenting female? I'd appreciate any thoughts

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