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lovingBunny7468
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PathStep 6 Compassion hearts18 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2022 Member sinceJune 22, 2022
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Should I end things? Or am I being stupid?
Relationship Stress / by lovingBunny7468
Last post
 June 24th, 2022
...See more FOREWARNING: THIS IS A LONG READ Sorry in advance for the lengthy story. I tend to over-elaborate, but I wanted to get all the details out there. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6.5 years, but recently I've been feeling disconnected from him and I'm not sure if I should end things. My disconnection towards him started a few months ago with me starting to become attracted to other people. These feelings started to become overwhelmingly real, to the point that when I would have sex with my boyfriend I was thinking about someone else, which made me feel awful. At that point they were just thoughts though, with no intent to act. My boyfriend and I have always been attached at the hip in our relationship. Our work schedules have always been relatively the same, and when we weren't working, we went everywhere together. Recently my boyfriend started working a new job where he works Sunday-Thursday, and I work Monday-Friday. This leaves Friday for him to go out by himself, Saturday we spend together, and Sunday for me to go out by myself. Everyone I hangout with (like my mom and her friends) thought it was good that my boyfriend and I got solo time, as there's no need to be constantly together. But truly, I've been enjoying my solo time A LOT. To the point that I really look forward to it. And I could work Sunday-Thursday if I wanted to but I choose not to. My solo time has given me a chance to connect with people. One of those people I've been attracted to and have come close to acting on my thoughts, but I can't stand the thought of cheating, so nothings happened. I've been really flirty in general and have thought about a few people, but this particular person is the only one that's really getting to me. I did tell my boyfriend my feelings about a month ago. He was upset but wanted to work things out, and I agreed I'd like to try to work things out too. I really have been trying to make things work but am still feeling like things aren't right. I started spending more time with him and have been communicating my feelings. We went on a little getaway together, and still I find myself not wanting to be close to him. We can't have sex because it feels wrong to me. I deleted the person I was really attracted to, but I still can't stop thinking about him. At this point I don't know what to do. I never imagined this would happen. I really care about my boyfriend and I hate hurting him. We've built a whole life together. But I can't ignore this feeling of disconnection and wanting someone else. When I think about ending things with my boyfriend I can't help but feel like I'm making a bad choice. This person I'm crushing on might not even think about me, and I'm doubtful there's a future with him. How could I want to throw everything away after 6.5 years? For lust? What if I regret it? The more I think about it the more I think I'm being stupid. I don't think the person I have a crush on knows how seriously my relationship is being affected by my feelings towards him. I almost want to ask him how he feels about me so I know if I'm being stupid but I don't wanna freak him out. If you made it through all that, THANK YOU. Any and all advice is welcome ❤️
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