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lovingHuman6979
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PathStep 4 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2021 Member sinceFebruary 26, 2021
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Considering a break up
Relationship Stress / by lovingHuman6979
Last post
 February 27th, 2021
...See more I’m sorry I’m advance for the long post, I’m new to here. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months and we became long distance 4 months ago (I saw him in New Years for the last time, am supposed to see him in 2 weeks during spring break). Almost immediately after he left, he started a pattern of doing things he knew would hurt me. Even after I expressed how these things would hurt me and he promised to not do them again, he still did. Example: hiding that he was talking to his exes again. Tonight, he hurt me again. He seemed so remorseless and like he honestly didn’t care. He said I trust him anymore anyway so he wasn’t even going to come up with an excuse or say anything. I was crying, asking if he even cared and he said he didn’t know what to say other than he felt like a jackass. He then said how he literally feels nothing at all about anything. He said he feels completely numb. He doesn’t feel bad for hurting others (except me apparently but I don’t believe him) and he knows he’s a shell of who he used to be but he doesn’t care. He said he cares about me a lot and he loves me but he hates the fact that he keeps hurting me because I’m the only person in his whole life who’s never hurt him once. He said he’s going to talk to a therapist (I asked him to) because he stopped going out, he doesn’t talk to anyone really besides his parents, his brother and me, and he doesn’t have the motivation to do anything at all (he said he wants to sleep all day because he just doesn’t want to be awake at all). I always tried to talk to him but he shut me out so I convinced him to find a therapist because he needs someone to talk to. He kept saying he doesn’t deserve me, he loves me, etc. And I want to be there to support him but I’ve now build this wall between us because I’m so scared of the next time he hurts me and how much worse it will be. I believed him last time when he promised to change a month ago but he broke that promise. I don’t know what to do. I feel horrible leaving him like this but I also feel horrible living with the constant anxiety of what he’ll do to me.
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