lovingSpring5715 Member Profile

...See more I had a tough conversation with my husband last night. We've had a few, most of the time we come through the other side feeling a little better. Last night, however, I felt completely invalidated and even more unheard than I was trying to explain to him. He's never been one to communicate his feeling with me. The last time we had a discussion (a couple months ago) he expressed to me that he felt overwhelmed with the kids, and needed more time for himself and for us. So I took that information and we planned several kid free trips and I have encouraged him to take more time to himself with his friends. I thought it was helping. We had a really good couple of trips, we had some great days working together on projects after the kids went to bed. I felt pretty good. Then he goes out with the kids, I didn't want to leave the house. I was feeling particularly overwhelmed myself. He comes home, hands me a bag of food and inside that bag of food I found a speeding ticket. I asked if that was a joke, as he's had one about a year ago and it raised our insurance rates significantly. I felt like the punchline in a terrible joke. He giggled and said he thought food would soften the blow. I tried not to cry in front of our kids. I was upset to say the least. So then last night after I had tried to process my feelings without anger. I told him that I felt hurt and tried to explain how I felt. That I also felt insignificant in the family, that I felt as though the kids didn't listen to me, no one seems to take my opinion or thoughts as valid or important. He basically told me that it was just par for the course because no matter how much more he did or does it doesn't matter. I was flabbergasted. I thought for a long time, because he just walked away and went to bed. I get that he's got some hurt, but here I am trying to share my hurt and feelings and it really sounded to me at the time like he was saying "well if I hurt, then it doesnt matter if you hurt too". Although he's made no effort to tell me how he's feeling or if his needs are still not being met. I just dont know what to do anymore. I know that I can't keep trying to be open and vulnerable if he will not mutually share with me. We have limited therapy options available to us (if any really) and I feel like our 15 year marriage is literally succumbing to a 1000 tiny paper cuts. Thanks for listening.

Bio

Recent forum posts

Talk to an expert therapist

Firstly congratulate yourself on reaching out for support! This is such an...

About Us

Get Started

Online Therapy

Terms

Bio