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loyalCake9786
112 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2024 Member sinceAugust 6, 2024
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Help! I’m no good at relationships of any kind especially romantic and I don’t want to screw this one up.
7 Cups Online Therapy / by loyalCake9786
Last post
 August 7th, 2024
...See more Info on me. I haven’t really dated in 8 years. Actually I haven’t dated really at all. I’ve always had friendships that turn romantic long term. I have anxiety and discovering that maybe childhood trauma is effecting me with relationships. I kind of hid myself away and think people just don’t like me for some reason. I am coming to realize that people do like me but now I’m struggling with knowing what to do. Below I talk about a guy. I like the guy. The guy says he likes me but has to get his head straight so do I wait around and keep reaching out to chat with him and hang out with him to see if it turns out more. He did tell me it took him a year to make it official with his ex. I (F42) and this guy (M42) were each other’s firsts back when we were 18. I broke up with him when I started college. This was before social media was really a thing so I didn’t see him again until years later and he found me on *** about 6 years ago. We chatted caught up but never met up face to face. I moved on with my life.  Recently some chain of events with mutual friends of ours brought us back face to face and we started texting on a daily basis and started hanging out. He told me he had thought about me all those years and always wondered what happened to me. Told me that he was so in love with me back then and I was probably the greatest love he has had. All was going great and then we had sex and things were noticeably different. He was honest with me and told me he liked me but couldn’t give me what I want or needed right now. He is 3 months out of a long term relationship and he said he couldn’t be with someone as long as someone else on his mind still. And he had to get his head straight. We still text daily and we’ve hung out and kissed but it’s different. And I don’t know what to do because now he isn’t as open and it seems like he trying to push me away and I want to be his friend at least. But I also feel like I’m foolish and he is just being nice. I know he has had some pretty bad ending relationships and has had a rough life. I just need to know if I need to keep trying to be in his life or if he just fed me lies and wants to push me away until I go away. From my experience it usually means the guy is just not that interested but they usually just stop responding. He is still responding. And we still hang out. So I am so confused on what to do. I’ve tried to talk to him and he said he wouldn’t have me over if he didn’t like me. It’s just all so back and forth and I don’t know what to do or say. From my experience guys are straight forward and will say hey your great but you’re not for me. Or they ghost. I’m not getting that with this guy so I’m stuck in what to do. He even invited me over to a family thing at his house. And his dogs love me Could I have scared him because I came back into his life and he found out I actually liked him? Is he afraid he isn’t good enough for me? He has told me that he didn’t want me to be sad or heartbroken because he wasn’t worth it. But I do think he is worth it. He has a good life now that he should be proud of and he did it all on his own. I’m just so confused because why did everything change?
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