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lynsay31
507 M Embraced 4
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts28 Forum posts52 Forum upvotes51 Current upvotes51 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2022 Member sinceOctober 30, 2015
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Virgin?
Relationship Stress / by lynsay31
Last post
 March 6th, 2017
...See more I'm 39 and a virgin because I've never been in love before. I think that I was waiting for something or someone to come but they never even came close. I'm not sure if it's because of what happened to me as a child. I was molested by a family friend when I was only eight or nine years old. I've never really dealt with it in any healthy way before. I've never really thought about it because I used my sister's bad relationships as an excuse. This is only coming up now is because I want to be a writer but since I've never experienced a sexual situation is it possible to write about one? How do you write about something that you've never done or experienced before?
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Confused & Molested (*Trigger Warning*)
Trauma Support / by lynsay31
Last post
 July 9th, 2017
...See more Hi, I am 37 years old and I have never had sex with anyone before and I think that it may have something to do with the sexual molestation that I suffered through as a child. It happened more than once, I think but I am not sure because I have blocked huge portions of my childhood out because of other traumatic traumas. This happened when I was only 7 or 8 years old. This friend of my mother's stayed at our house with his wife. Ruth & Jack were there names. One night I was sleeping on the couch and I was startled awake from someone touching my thigh. Then he said quietly, "Sh, be quiet." I was too scared to move or say anything but I kept thinking that my sister would come in at any moment and save me but that never happened. Then his hand was inside of my panties, then two of his fingers were inside of me. I think that he was touching his self as he was touching me. Afterwards he gave me two dollars making me feel cheap and dirty but not understanding why at the time. I never confided in my mother because for some reason I didn't think that she would believe me. My older sister Sam told me that they caught him touching me on the outside of my clothes and kicked him out but I don't remember that at all. I remember taking my other sister Becky into the bathroom and telling her everything and I remember crying as I told her. I was so afraid that no one would believe me. All these years later it still effects me as I cannot have a relationship with anyone because I just freeze up whenever anyone touches me in anyway even if it is not sexual. Also my family acts like it never happened, it isn't mentioned and we have never talked about it. Any advice as to how to get over it and have a real relationship with another person? Any ideas?
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