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maxmaxmax
799 M Little Steps
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts24 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2021 Member sinceJanuary 29, 2017
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Conversation Limbo
Relationship Stress / by maxmaxmax
Last post
 October 12th, 2021
...See more Hi, everyone, maybe you could help out with this issue. This message got way to long, sorry, but I think I’m just stressed and worried about the whole situation. There is this girl at uni… Our talking started of easy, but now I don’t know what to do, or handle the situation, and I spend way to much time thinking about what’s going on and what to do to solve it. our “hellos” at school are awkward, she is ignoring/spends a long time responding to my snaps, or don’t open them at all, even if there is nothing to respond to (just something funny, random etc) I want to ask her what is going on. I don’t know if I have done something bad, or she just finds me super weird, or just wants to ignore me. Is she is insecure because I am awkward, weird, I try not to be, but I have no idea ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, or do I need to grow some balls and ask her out? We have sort of separate social circles, and don’t know each other that well. It would be really weird, and intimidating if I were to walk up to her and ask what is going on at uni. I’m not sure how to bring this issue up at all. What makes this a lot lot worse and more stressful for me is that a few years ago there was another girl I liked, and where everything went wrong, and I got emotionally wrecked. I have a hard time handling this situation because of that. The case is that it started out the same way as it did here, with just the smiles, then some talking a few times, but mostly some hello’s here and there after breaking the ice. Then we ended up in the same limbo that I find my self in now, and since I did so many bad moves last time, I am afraid to repeat them now, and make everything a mess. So what happened the last time. I was young, probably very insecure, and had never met someone that I had “fallen for” before. I was afraid to talk to her, or that is, what to say, and got shaky whenever I talked to her. I invited her to my birthday-party, we had fun then and there, alcohol makes me relax I guess. but then she rejected me after that when I asked her if she wanted to do a cofee. And every conversation after that, I had that in the back, but I could never get a read on if it was a rejection because she liked me, or because she didn’t want any relationship, or what was going on. It happened on a message, and not face to face. Problem is, I still liked her, and in afterthought I think it would have been better to cut here completely of my life than to be in the emotional limbo that I was in. Was she talking to me because she had to, or was she interested now, or not. This went on for a long time. Worst moment was when I asked her if she wanted to do join me for a homemade dinner at the bus, (which must have been the most awkward conversation ever), she said no ofc. We met at the clubs a few times, but it was just as weird every time. We spoke maybe a few words together, and once in a while talked on Snapchat. She wrecked my feelings pretty bad, and it never became the same. Problem now is that I feel like I am heading for the same limbo. So I want to solve this issue the best way I can. If I ask this new girl, hey you want to do a cofee on a message, and she then sends answers, no, and then that she is not into that sort of thing, or that this is not what she is thinking of, etc. I am afraid it’s going to be weird after I ask that question, and we meet or see each other irl after. If I ask her irl at school, It’s going to seem like it’s taken from the blue sky, and she is going to say no. There is no way I can bring this up naturally:// ideally I would like to meet at a party, or via some friends where a conversation between the two of us would feel more natural. But then again I can’t go around waiting for that to happen:/ any ideas or helpful thoughts?
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