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missg
1 147,227 M New Horizon 1
PathStep 155 Compassion hearts3,930 Forum posts27 Forum upvotes27 Current upvotes27 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2024 Member sinceAugust 17, 2015
Recent forum posts
Overwhelmed
Personality Disorders Support / by missg
Last post
 November 12th, 2020
...See more I don't know why but today I feel like I can't catch up with myself. I feel behind with life and my goals. I feel useless that I haven't made as much money as I wanted to, these past few weeks. I feel like I missed an opportunity. But I've been enjoying life for the first time ever. I've had friends to stay and laughs and giggles and watched my favourite tv programme and watched my daughter grow and develop and paid closer attention. I feel like I need to catch up financially, to make up for the things I lack with my daughter- like patience and the energy to take her to the park each day. I just want to give her stability. I just want to be able to take days off in the future when she needs me. I'm guilting myself now for creating joy, when I feel I ought to be creating long term stability. It's a strong opposing energy. I take days off to recharge, but I end up feeling tired anyway, from all of the fun. I try to balance it out, by spending less, when I earn less, but then that gives me a headache. I wish money were simpler. I wish decisions were fewer and further between. I'm in a tough place. I feel that I need a team. I'm sure I'll feel a lot better when all the decorating in the house is done. Trying to 'do it all'. Scared of temporary loss or being slowed down in one avenue of life, to gain in another. The momentum keeps going but it feels bumpy, to manage and keep track of it all. Not used to sacrificing- have been told by my generation above that my generation 'can have it all'. That's not true. That's marketing to sell their products to me. Making money takes time. Ideas take energy. I need a break from all of it. But I'd only feel guilty for being away from it. People used to think I was frightened of responsibility, but actually responsibility had a strong grip on me that paralysed me- and still does. I feel like it means more to me than it seems, and the amount it means to me can take control of me sometimes. Scared of messing up. Scared of losing my responsibility. I wonder where this comes from?
Figuring it all out
Personality Disorders Support / by missg
Last post
 November 4th, 2020
...See more Well I just want to say I'm happy to have this place to share. And then it brungs me despair when I remember the sharing circles and community I had in real life and lost because I didn't value them as a priority. I valued having my own home and an income more than I valued a community living space. But then I shouldn't really beat myself up because actually I deserve all of those things- my own space, an income and a community. I feel like I'm struggling because I really want to find the place which gives me all of those. When I talk to people in my area, people say there see you are finding community, and I say no it is nowhere near the same. Community to me is all living for the same purpose and understanding one another. Seeing the group daily and knowing we all belong there. Community isn't knocking on someone's door who lives half a mile away for a quick chat. I'm happy that I have seven cups, but I wish I didn't need it so badly.
Defeated anxiety
Positivity & Gratitude / by missg
Last post
 December 30th, 2015
...See more After two years of working every day to try and get to the bottom of everything; I finally defeated my anxiety and ptsd. I am happy and balanced, in love with myself, free from all the pain which was holding me back and have a clear head constantly with no interuptions. It is so wonderful to be a normal person and not have to get to the bottom of any emotions and just accept normal feelings like a bit bored or happy or tired or joyful and not have all the overwhelming anxiety that comes with any of it. I can get on a train without panicking. I have no questions or hesitations about doing anything i decide to do. I am finally the person I always looked up to.
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