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miy414
1 1,437 M Little Steps 5
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts37 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2025 Member sinceMarch 8, 2021
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Trauma issues?
Trauma Support / by miy414
Last post
 January 31st
...See more I was with my ex-partner for about 2 years and in the first month of us dating , he talked to another females because he said he didn’t think we were serious . He told me he was sorry and he learned from his mistakes but down the line I lost trust with him. I have a few male friends but he exaggerates and says I have 20 million friends and says he doesn’t like the males because I met them off of dating apps so they couldn’t just be friends with me . My ex- partner is a veteran and had a previous wife with a child … but she cheated on him. I don’t know every detail from the previous relationship but I do know it affected him badly. When meeting him he seemed nice but it seems that I didn’t really get the love and care I deserved at times because he didn’t receive that from his family. He seems a bit isolated from his family, uses his game to manage stress and uses his passion as a barber to cut hair. When he came home , he had no time for me or would say no one wants to come home to their girlfriend nagging . I feel a bit lost because I’ve been trying to get through the situation … the ex partner I had , put his hand on me and choked me then drug me down the hall. Afterwards, he broke down and I consoled him and never called the cops but I feel awful for consoling him but I know I have a genuine heart so I believe that’s why I did it. In the relationship, he had received nudity videos from another female, the trust was broken and I tried to establish trust but it was hard . I wish he realized how much I tried. He told me I’ve done a lot more than his family has and I was taking care of him and his child while he was down for 6-months due to having a seizure. I met his ex wife to give her son back to her since he couldn’t drive at the time either. It became to be a lot but I’ve had supportive friends . I had an amazing supportive friend named Trey who has been my friend for almost 4 years . Trey and I have a very spiritual connection that’s connected us from the beginning. My ex ended up giving me a MacBook for previous birthday my phone was linked to the MacBook. My ex partner showed up to the house unexpectedly and asked for the MacBook back so I tried to clear out everything . During that time me and my ex partner broke up on the week of February 17th and I got with my new partner around 3 weeks later so my ex found out about my new partner because although I thought I deleted everything , it didn’t delete. That night my ex came, he refused to leave unless I called the cops and tried to propose and I told him “ you’re about to embarrass yourself, get up” and said “No”. My ex partner had a hard time and I understand but I was willing to be here for him as a friend regardless. Anyways, my ex partner eventually left after my parents talked to him and two days later he my new partner and left voicemails, then called me and sent me messages calling me a cheater and a *** and saying I used God as a way to get out of the relationship. This is when I realized nothing deleted out of the MacBook because my ex sent a video of my new partner holding me and then sent the video to my mom and to my new partner as well. Not only did he do that, he sent threatening messages to my new partner and told my mom this wouldn’t end well. He’s told me that I won’t sleep peacefully and I should be paranoid. I won’t be safe around him and it sucks to say, but I’ve been very paranoid and telling my current partner about the disturbing thoughts I’ve been having. I don’t know what to do because my ex partner thinks I’ve cheated and I know I didn’t because we were broken up but he needs to realize he didn’t treat me well and you don’t get to figure out how to treat me for 2 years. I care about my current partner and want to be with him but how do I move forward with the fact that I’m having disturbing thoughts and feeling like I believed the words my ex told me . My ex never wanted me to have females friends whose name reminded him of his ex-wife’s name . I feel like I’ve tried and I’m nervous of what his family may think because I’m not a bad person and just want to move forward . I don’t know what else to do . My ex ended up being charged with communicating threats - I feel bad because he is a barber so when you look him up, his mugshot comes up😔I wanted him to learn but not this way.,. I just feel awful.
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Domestic Violence ; Trauma Issues
Trauma Support / by miy414
Last post
 June 17th, 2025
...See more Hi , I appreciate any help received and would love to open the floor to others on what they think about this .. well here it goes ( thanks in advance) : I was with my ex-partner for about 2 years and in the first month of us dating , he talked to another females because he said he didn’t think we were serious . He told me he was sorry and he learned from his mistakes but down the line I lost trust with him. I have a few male friends but he exaggerates and says I have 20 million friends and says he doesn’t like the males because I met them off of dating apps so they couldn’t just be friends with me . My ex- partner is a veteran and had a previous wife with a child … but she cheated on him. I don’t know every detail from the previous relationship but I do know it affected him badly. When meeting him he seemed nice but it seems that I didn’t really get the love and care I deserved at times because he didn’t receive that from his family. He seems a bit isolated from his family, uses his game to manage stress and uses his passion as a barber to cut hair. When he came home , he had no time for me or would say no one wants to come home to their girlfriend nagging . I feel a bit lost because I’ve been trying to get through the situation … the ex partner I had , put his hand on me and choked me then drug me down the hall. Afterwards, he broke down and I consoled him and never called the cops but I feel awful for consoling him but I know I have a genuine heart so I believe that’s why I did it. In the relationship, he had received nudity videos from another female, the trust was broken and I tried to establish trust but it was hard . I wish he realized how much I tried. He told me I’ve done a lot more than his family has and I was taking care of him and his child while he was down for 6-months due to having a seizure. I met his ex wife to give her son back to her since he couldn’t drive at the time either. It became to be a lot but I’ve had supportive friends . I had an amazing supportive friend named Trey who has been my friend for almost 4 years . Trey and I have a very spiritual connection that’s connected us from the beginning. My ex ended up giving me a MacBook for previous birthday my phone was linked to the MacBook. My ex partner showed up to the house unexpectedly and asked for the MacBook back so I tried to clear out everything . During that time me and my ex partner broke up on the week of February 17th and I got with my new partner around 3 weeks later so my ex found out about my new partner because although I thought I deleted everything , it didn’t delete. That night my ex came, he refused to leave unless I called the cops and tried to propose and I told him “ you’re about to embarrass yourself, get up” and said “No”. My ex partner had a hard time and I understand but I was willing to be here for him as a friend regardless. Anyways, my ex partner eventually left after my parents talked to him and two days later he my new partner and left voicemails, then called me and sent me messages calling me a cheater and a *** and saying I used God as a way to get out of the relationship. This is when I realized nothing deleted out of the MacBook because my ex sent a video of my new partner holding me and then sent the video to my mom and to my new partner as well. Not only did he do that, he sent threatening messages to my new partner and told my mom this wouldn’t end well. He’s told me that I won’t sleep peacefully and I should be paranoid. I won’t be safe around him and it sucks to say, but I’ve been very paranoid and telling my current partner about the disturbing thoughts I’ve been having. I don’t know what to do because my ex partner thinks I’ve cheated and I know I didn’t because we were broken up but he needs to realize he didn’t treat me well and you don’t get to figure out how to treat me for 2 years. I care about my current partner and want to be with him but how do I move forward with the fact that I’m having disturbing thoughts and feeling like I believed the words my ex told me . My ex never wanted me to have females friends whose name reminded him of his ex-wife’s name . I feel like I’ve tried and I’m nervous of what his family may think because I’m not a bad person and just want to move forward . I don’t know what else to do . Lastly, because my ex consistently threatened ny current partner , he got charged with communicating threats and I now have a Domestic Violence protective order effective until May 1,2026. I feel awful because I wasn’t perfect in the relationship but if I messed up he wouldn’t hesitate to leave but if he did , I’d stay 😔I feel so stupid - Also, I feel bad because he’s a barber and when you look him up , his mugshot comes up… he’s out of jail now (they just booked him and he has to return on his court date) but I feel guilty , awful, bad … everything 😔.
miy414 profile picture
Domestic violence , trauma issues
Trauma Support / by miy414
Last post
 June 16th, 2025
...See more Hi , I’m nervous to type this but I appreciate everyone who’s helped so far, I’m open to many thoughts and opinions… well here it goes : I was with my ex-partner for about 2 years and in the first month of us dating , he talked to another females because he said he didn’t think we were serious . He told me he was sorry and he learned from his mistakes but down the line I lost trust with him. I have a few male friends but he exaggerates and says I have 20 million friends and says he doesn’t like the males because I met them off of dating apps so they couldn’t just be friends with me . My ex- partner is a veteran and had a previous wife with a child … but she cheated on him. I don’t know every detail from the previous relationship but I do know it affected him badly. When meeting him he seemed nice but it seems that I didn’t really get the love and care I deserved at times because he didn’t receive that from his family. He seems a bit isolated from his family, uses his game to manage stress and uses his passion as a barber to cut hair. When he came home , he had no time for me or would say no one wants to come home to their girlfriend nagging . I feel a bit lost because I’ve been trying to get through the situation … the ex partner I had , put his hand on me and choked me then drug me down the hall. Afterwards, he broke down and I consoled him and never called the cops but I feel awful for consoling him but I know I have a genuine heart so I believe that’s why I did it. In the relationship, he had received nudity videos from another female, the trust was broken and I tried to establish trust but it was hard . I wish he realized how much I tried. He told me I’ve done a lot more than his family has and I was taking care of him and his child while he was down for 6-months due to having a seizure. I met his ex wife to give her son back to her since he couldn’t drive at the time either. It became to be a lot but I’ve had supportive friends . I had an amazing supportive friend named Trey who has been my friend for almost 4 years . Trey and I have a very spiritual connection that’s connected us from the beginning. My ex ended up giving me a MacBook for previous birthday my phone was linked to the MacBook. My ex partner showed up to the house unexpectedly and asked for the MacBook back so I tried to clear out everything . During that time me and my ex partner broke up on the week of February 17th and I got with my new partner around 3 weeks later so my ex found out about my new partner because although I thought I deleted everything , it didn’t delete. That night my ex came, he refused to leave unless I called the cops and tried to propose and I told him “ you’re about to embarrass yourself, get up” and said “No”. My ex partner had a hard time and I understand but I was willing to be here for him as a friend regardless. Anyways, my ex partner eventually left after my parents talked to him and two days later he my new partner and left voicemails, then called me and sent me messages calling me a cheater and a *** and saying I used God as a way to get out of the relationship. This is when I realized nothing deleted out of the MacBook because my ex sent a video of my new partner holding me and then sent the video to my mom and to my new partner as well. Not only did he do that, he sent threatening messages to my new partner and told my mom this wouldn’t end well. He’s told me that I won’t sleep peacefully and I should be paranoid. I won’t be safe around him and it sucks to say, but I’ve been very paranoid and telling my current partner about the disturbing thoughts I’ve been having. I don’t know what to do because my ex partner thinks I’ve cheated and I know I didn’t because we were broken up but he needs to realize he didn’t treat me well and you don’t get to figure out how to treat me for 2 years. I care about my current partner and want to be with him but how do I move forward with the fact that I’m having disturbing thoughts and feeling like I believed the words my ex told me . My ex never wanted me to have females friends whose name reminded him of his ex-wife’s name . I feel like I’ve tried and I’m nervous of what his family may think because I’m not a bad person and just want to move forward . I don’t know what else to do . lastly , my ex partner continued the threats so my current partner tried to get a protective order against him and pressed charges … well the cops didn’t serve the order so my current partner dismissed the case and presses charges. I ended up getting a domestic violence protective order myself and it’s effective until May 1,2026 - the day I went to court to get the order my ex also got arrested and charged for “communicating threats”, but he’s out now. Why do I feel awful that he’s going through all of this when I made mistakes too - I don’t want to beat myself up but it’s hard and now I have to live with this. I’ve been wondering if my ex is a narcissist or manipulator?? Do you guys think so? Thanks in advance 😔💕.
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