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modestZebra9047
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2026 Member sinceAugust 4, 2026
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Help! I am struggling with an attraction
Men's Issues / by modestZebra9047
Last post
 August 5th
...See more I've been happily married for over 35 years, and from time to time I have become attracted to someone else.  The first time it happened was within the first few years of our marriage.  I confessed this attraction to my wife and she really blew up.  The attraction was self limiting as the young woman moved out of the area and I was able to move past it.  Since then I have become attracted to other woman very infrequently.  I have never done anything inappropriate and have always been able to move past the attractions, and after the first episode early in our marriage have never told my wife about any of the other attraction episodes. But this current one is different, because it is clearly mutual and the signals from this young woman are stronger than from any of the other attractions I've had with the exception of my wife. (When I started really noticing these signs of attraction from this young woman I went on Youtube to see what the various signs are and she checked almost every box.) Like all the other previous episodes, nothing inappropriate has ever happened between us.  But I have found myself constantly thinking about her, looking forward to seeing her, and finding opportunities to be near her more at church, which is where we met. This has affected my sleep, I have become anxious, nervous, and my mind is becoming consumed by this.  Lately I have not been my normal self and my wife has noticed, but I cannot tell her. I think the young woman has also picked up on my struggle (It has become difficult for me to act normal around her) as, for the first time in a very long time,  we did not spend our usual time in social engagement at church. I really just want this to morph back into a good friendship (as it was from the start) as quickly as possible but this one is tough.  Eliminating or minimizing contact with her would be difficult as it would entail either giving up the ministry I am involved with at church, or leaving our church altogether. Any advice, encouragement, and prayer is appreciated. Blessings
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