I have been married for almost 12 years.  We are both on our second marriage and she is 12 years younger than me.  I have two children from my previous marriage that were 10 and 6 when we got married, and she has one child from her previous marriage that was just over 3 when we got married.  I first marriages both ended due to our spouses cheating on us.  We got married about a year after I was divorced and about 3 months after her divorce was finalized but we had been dating for about 9 months following her separation.  When we got married we both worked and were not in excellent shape but were not in bad shape either.  I had a pretty good childhood and I had been in the military for about 22 years when we got married.  My current wife had a pretty rough childhood, where there was lots of fussing, she was sexually assaulted in some way when she was a teen by a family member, that the rest of the family covered up, she had stage 4 cancer when she was 19, her mother died when she was about 20 from an accidental overdose, and she felt like her father had something to do with the accidental overdose, so much so that she requested the coroner's report.  In the beginning our marriage was pretty good.  We shared lots of physical affection, which is one of my very important love languages (physical touch).  After about 2 years of marriage she decided she would stop working and stay at home, for me this was ok at first even though I was stressed being the only person working.  I had a good bit of emotional baggage from my previous marriage because I still loved my ex-wife right up until our final divorce hearing.  My current wife at least on the outside appeared to be done with her ex-husband the day they separated and she actually had a good bit of anger toward him and my ex-wife.  After about 3 years of being married she suggested that we move in with my parents and build a house on the other side of their property (because she said she knew I wanted to), I pushed back on the idea because I felt like it would lead to issues.  Moving in with my parents did lead to issues about 6 months of living with them, my wife started getting mad especially at my mom if my parents would try to discipline any of our children but especially her child from her previous marriage.  It took a bit to get my parents to stop parenting the children but the damage had been done because of several family talks with my parents that did not go too well.  Once our house was built it took a bit but things started to get better, we had our ups and downs but things seemed to level out most times.  We both started getting more and more out of shape especially once I retired from the military, and she began to pull back physically, and we had less and less physical relations, she started getting aggravated if I stopped her in the house to give her a kiss or a hug.  She had always had difficulty climaxing unless she was on top during sex and this was never an issue when we would have regular sex in bed, but then for about 18 months she only wanted to have sex in the shower standing up, which made it very difficult due to her anatomy to climax, but she would almost refuse to have sex in the bed where should could be on top.  At some point I broke my leg and had to be in a wheelchair for about 3 months, during this time my wife had to do a lot for me, and push me in the wheelchair.  Once I was able to start walking again we when right back to only having sex in the shower.  Also my wife's view on foreplay is getting undressed, bending over, and saying let's getting started, or if in the shower turning toward the wall and saying come on.  Also I would try to get her to have anal sex every so often to which she would enthusiastically refuse, but I would try again after a while.  Finally after about 2 and a half years of shower sex and her saying if you want to hit it and quit it real quick, we had a fight about something totally different from sex, but she started fussing and saying that it was all my fault that she had not really climaxed for over 2 years, and when I tried to explain that I had tried to get her to have more sex in bed so she could, she got mad and said that you don't even listen to me when I tell you over and over again I did not want anal sex, after this fight I started having erectile disfunction issues and premature ejaculation issues, it is like someone flipped a switch and I was no longer able to perform sexually.  These issues along with the fact that I now had to ask for sex or cuddle time or we would not have any it started causing more fights about what seemed to be small things, but I am just not sure.  I tried several things to fix the ED and PE, like pills and injectables, I am still trying to lose weight but I am over 50 now and it is hard.  Now we are always having fights about everything, weather it is me causing her an issue or someone else it always ends up with her mad at me.  I have started to feel like the only reason she is still with me is because of the benefits our youngest son gets from us being married.  I am still struggling with the ED and PE issues and I am still seeing a doctor about it, but things at home are just deteriorating.