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moonstorm
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2021 Member sinceJanuary 29, 2016
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How do you live with anxiety about random violence?
Anxiety Support / by moonstorm
Last post
 March 23rd, 2021
...See more Giving a possible trigger warning in case anyone is triggered by light discussion of g*n violence. I live in the US and I am absolutely terrified quite frequently about going out in public, whether to grocery stores, movie theaters, concerts, malls, etc. due to the gun violence that happens here. Every time there is a mass shooting in the news, it sets me off, and I just saw the news about another one. Honestly having been inside for most of the last year due to the pandemic has actually been somewhat of a blessing to me. I don't want people to be sick, and I want the pandemic to end, but I've not had to worry nearly as much about being overcome with anxiety related to gun violence. I live in a relatively small and usually safe city, and while I guess that should make me feel better, it often doesn't, because it can truly happen anywhere, and it terrifies me. After the Aurora shooting in the movie theater, I barely went to theaters anymore, because of how scared I was. I ended up stopping completely for about 5 years, only recently going back a couple of times prior to the pandemic, and being so scared I could barely focus on the film each time. Now that we have vaccines and life will eventually return to somewhat normal, I can feel the anxiety building again. Of course, it's spiked by the news. I stay away from it as much as I can, but it's hard to avoid it completely. I try not to think about it, but I feel like I'm often on guard in public, knowing that if that ever happened somewhere where I was, there'd be little I could do. I've had nightmares about it too, and those are ... bad. Basically I feel like there isn't much I can do about this, but wow is it debilitating sometimes. And it affects my relationship, family, friends, etc because of course they want to go places (when we aren't in a pandemic) and it's...hard for me to.
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Anxiety triggered by gun violence
Anxiety Support / by moonstorm
Last post
 August 13th, 2019
...See more I'm sure my anxiety isn't rare... I know many people (especially living in America) are worried about their safety and the safety of their loved ones when they're out in public. For me, it really eats away at me sometimes, and I don't really know how to handle it anymore. I've been plagued by anxious thoughts related to gun violence for most of my life. But, I know it's gotten worse over the years. I was a child when Columbine happened, a high schooler considering what college to apply to when Virginia Tech happened, and an adult for the other myriad shootings that have occurred in nearly every type of public place. I'm sure I was affected by the shootings I saw on the news as a child/teenager (even though I was never directly affected, for which I am of course beyond grateful... I had planned to apply at Tech, but I gave that up after the shooting. That's about as much "real world" effect it's had on me... except for the anxiety). I feel like it gets worse each year. I think about it more, I worry about it more, and I stop doing more things. Until recently, I stopped going to movie theaters and public events. I don't like crowds and tend to avoid them anyway, but I was pretty adamant about avoiding any unnecessary exposure. I went five and a half years without setting foot in a movie theater. The first time I went in a long time was November 2018. I've been twice since then, and I worry each time. I guess it's at the forefront of my mind now because I have plans to go tonight too. I've been dreading going due to this past week, where we had three major shootings consecutively (and couple that with the nightmares I had + the obsessive thoughts about "what would I do if ... " situations.) It's been a rough few days. This is pretty much a ramble, so I apologize if it doesn't make sense. I'm just sort of at a loss for the first time in a long time, because no matter what people say in news coverage, I don't think mass shootings are stagnant -- they're getting more frequent. And I have a REALLY hard time getting myself to go anywhere anymore. I'll get distracted thinking about it at work or at home and nearly end up in tears. I really thought I was getting better at managing my anxiety (I feel like for a lot of areas in my life, it has gotten better), but when it comes to stuff like this, I can't seem to get a handle on it anymore.
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Trying to take it day by day
Anxiety Support / by moonstorm
Last post
 March 24th, 2018
...See more Hi all, first time posting here, though I've considered it for a while. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment. I guess you could say there's a lot going on, and I think it's just exacerbating my anxiety. That in turn is making it hard for me to focus, and I keep making dumb mistakes at work which just makes me more anxious/awkward etc. I work full-time in a job I'm really unhappy with, but I do try my best to just remember to be grateful that I have a job! Lots of days that does help, but I think when I'm making mistakes, I just hate it more because it all feeds into my anxiety. I'm currently in the midst of a job search to try and better this situation. In addition, I'm a part-time student. I'm in two classes (one language class, and one graduate class). This is my last semester to finish up a four-year language learning journey and a final course for an add-on certificate to my MA. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak, but when I think about all of the final assignments I'll have to do... In addition, I do quite a few freelance projects. I work on a magazine as a lead editor, I do book critiques and blog posts for a different company, and I manage social media for a local non-profit. All of this in the hopes of getting enough experience to get a job in my field :) We're currently moving house, tomorrow actually. We started moving a little bit yesterday and will move more today, but being in a new environment definitely spikes the anxiety. I almost cried last night, sitting in the closet of the empty new house. Sometimes I'm totally fine, and I don't mind being busy. But other times I know I've taken on too much, but I feel like there's nothing I can do about any of it, because all of it serves a purpose... or some of it is out of my control... It seems that everything is spiking my anxiety recently and I feel like I'm regressing. For example, I get super anxious when I have to speak out loud in my foreign language class. I've also been a little nervous about it, but not nearly as much as I am now. And with the new house, I haven't even been able to drive to it yet because my anxiety around driving has spiked to the point where I can't drive anywhere unfamiliar anymore... I don't really know what's happening, or if I'm just being crazy, but it at least feels a bit better to type it all out.
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