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mylkcha
590 M Embraced 4
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts34 Forum posts15 Forum upvotes12 Current upvotes12 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2022 Member sinceApril 15, 2018
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Remembering my ex in a new relationship. Advice please?
Relationship Stress / by mylkcha
Last post
 October 29th, 2022
...See more Hello everyone, I just broke up with my ex 3 weeks ago. During the weeks following the break up I became close with a guy and we started having something like romantic feelings for each other. Recently, he displayed habits that my ex used to do and it reminded me of my ex. This makes my stomach churn because I don’t want to compare the two of them and I don’t want to be reminded of my ex in a new relationship. I want to look at my new person as they are. I’m wondering if this is completely normal(getting reminded of your ex)? Or do I still need some healing to do? I asked myself if I prefer my previous relationship over the one now and I think I’d like to keep the one at present. I want to think that I’ve already healed from my previous relationship but sometimes I think that 3 weeks is too short. I don’t wanna lose my current relationship but I don’t wanna hurt this person’s feeling in the long run due to insufficient healing as well. What should I do?
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I’m starting to like someone else, what do I do?
Relationship Stress / by mylkcha
Last post
 October 19th, 2022
...See more Hello everyone, I would like to ask your opinion on something I’m going through right now. These are the characters in my story. Me - Female, in a relationship, in my 20s My boyfriend - In a relationship with him for 2.5 years already Mr. X - Someone who I think is awesome, a great friend and someone who I respect a lot My boyfriend and the good days are good but sometimes I have a really turbulent relationship. We fight almost every week. I keep on being patient with him thinking maybe he will change and respond correctly if I tell him what’s wrong and why we fight. We are currently in another fight and I’ve talked with him, although not perfectly, regarding how I’m feeling and he just stonewalls me, he didn’t even respond when I was talking to him. He’s always like that and I get frustrated because I feel like I’m not heard. I’m already contemplating that maybe we aren’t compatible and maybe I should end this relationship but I really feel bad about about it, about how we both will be sad, we both love each other still, and about how all my patience did not bear fruit. Deep inside I still want to give him more chances so I’m waiting for him to initiate conversation(which he RARELY or even never does). Now here comes mr. X, he’s a long-term friend of mine, we(including my bf) spend time together but I am closer to mr. X because he often asks me for advice about different topics. I never really saw him as a potential partner, but recently, he’s been making what I think are flirty remarks like “Isn’t your character better paired of with mine?” Or something like that, like he’s trying to imply that we could be in a relationship. I thought it was just me, that it was just a friendly joke, but others are noticing it as well. Idk I just respect him so much and suddenly I feel like I’m starting to have a thing for him and I’m starting to think that he might be better than mu bf. And it’s getting complicated because he’s being so flirty and I’m in a turbulent phase with my bf. I know I am just craving affection that my bf could not give me. I want to confront Mr. X on why he keeps on giving me those remarks, is it ok while I’m still in a relationship? If he says he likes me I’m not even sure what I want to do. I’m conflicted. Please help me and please give me your advise :(
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When do you know if you’re the toxic one?
Relationship Stress / by mylkcha
Last post
 August 1st, 2022
...See more Hello everyone. I just had a quarrel with my partner and we do this really often. Most of the times they are caused by very minor things which I perceive to be major. Like for example, playing coop games together then fighting because “you weren’t supporting me like you should!” kinda stuff. Sometimes I feel like it’s childish until my cousin told me that my games are important to me and I just felt glad she understood that and I longed for my partner to understand that as well. My usual question to my partner when we fight is “Why can’t you understand where I’m coming from?”. I do admit I have some anger issues and usually I start the fights most of the time. Like for example today, I was cleaning our table mats and I wanted help hanging them because my hands are full. My partner was in another room listening to music while I was in another shouting at him for help. I got really angry because I felt like he was intentionally not trying to listen to me. I told him he should apologize even if it was intentional or not because it was hard for me to shout and do chores while no one is listening which made me really mad and made me start this fight. He told me that I’m pretty close minded as well, that I’m not listening to his argument. He keeps on saying he didn’t hear me from another room. I don’t understand how that’s supposed to be an answer to my demand for an apology, it didn’t change the fact that it hurt me because it seemed like he was ignoring me, you know just like when you accidentally bump on someone and still you say sorry. I just felt so invalidated and like my feelings did not matter to him at all. All his rebuttals feel like excuses, like he’s removing himself from the main problem at hand. He told me he won’t say sorry now because I’m already mad, I don’t understand how he could think of it that way. I was so angry I told him “If you were to pick between apologizing and having to end this relationship I’m sure you’d pick to leave” and he replies saying if you want me to leave then I’m not forcing anything. It feels like he’s not willing to exert any effort at all. I told him then that he should leave because we’re not willing to understand each other anymore. Am I being the toxic one here? I feel like I’ve exerted enough patience in this 2 year relationship but I do admit that my anger bursts are really hard to control. Do you think this relationship is still worth fighting for? We’ve been at circles like this for 2 years now. Hoping for your relationship advice and also anger management advice if any. Thanks!
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