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n1c0n1c
1 1,492 M Little Steps 5
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts33 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupTeen Last activeSeptember, 2025 Member sinceApril 1, 2024
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I don't know what to do
Depression Support / by n1c0n1c
Last post
June 3rd, 2024
...See more I don't even know if that's the correct place to talk about this, or if I even can talk about this Tw: su1c1de thoughts, $elf harm, disturbing stuff  please take care of yourself I've been struggling with depression for a few years, I used to go to therapy and take meds. I can safely say that I got better but I'm still not okay. Around a year ago I met my (now) boyfriend and we immediately got along. I love him, and I'm incredibly happy that the feeling is reciprocated. The problem is - he's also struggling and he needs a lot of support. It's understandable so I feel really bad because I can't give him that support. Yesterday at around 1 am I got a text from him, saying that he's scared and he's seeing and hearing a person in his room and that that person wants him to k1ll himself. He's had these hallucinations(?) before and his psychiatrist told him it's probably because of stress. I was extremely worried that he might actually do something dangerous to himself. I'm not a specialist so I really didn't know what to do in this situation. I was scared for his safety and I still am. I stayed with him on a call till he calmed down, but I couldn't do much more.  I know it's terrible, but I just feel so exhausted. I can't do this. And I know it hurts him even more, I shouldn't be complaining. But it's still really hard for me, I have no idea what I'm doing and if I said something wrong he could have actually hurt himself. I've seen his wounds and scars and it hurt me so much I'm just feeling worse and worse every day, I don't think I can do this any longer. I told him to talk to someone about it but in the end it's up to him. I feel like he doesn't even want to try anymore 
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