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nattaliaa
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PathStep 3 Compassion hearts28 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes14 Current upvotes14 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2026 Member sinceDecember 12, 2021
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I AM SO VERY MAD PLS HELP
35 & Over Community / by nattaliaa
Last post
 May 13th, 2023
...See more My main problem right now is that I do not like attempting to solve a situation when I'm angry because I may say the wrong thing or the wrong way. I am keeping everything to myself -with all that means- to avoid being mean or hurtful or say things I regret later. But it's very unfair to myself not to speak up about the issue. Thing is, as time goes by I just don't feel like saying anything at all anymore. It is draining to come up with the right way of saying things. THE SITUATION We are a group (11 people) of friends +35 years old (not besties, just hang-out friends). Most of us have no kids and we go out every week (Friday, Saturday). We have traveled together many times (like long weekends to nearby cities). And we -of course- a whatsapp group. I have been noticing lately that the group is kinda dead sometimes. I made a joke last saturday and only one person reacted and only one other actually answered what I said. I made a poll Yesterday morning to go to the movies tonight (Friday) at 1020pm. (We had already discussed this at the beggining of the week like on Tuesday and Wednesday). About 5 people did not bother to take a moment to vote. I saw the blue checkmark so they all saw the poll and did not even bother. They only voted this morning, after I thanked the ones who took 1 second to vote. And today Friday at 8pm one of the guys who has not uttered a single word the whole week says "hey do you want to go to [randomplace]. Let's say 9.30pm?". And suddenly 5 people were joining him. Can you see why I'm furious?!?!?? Am I wrong to be extremely upset?!!?? Don't you think it is competely and utterly disrespectful to me?!?!? I know he is not doing it TO ME but it is a pretty inconsiderate thing to do. I mean the idea is to get together. I value more the opportunity to share time together than the activity and now they deliberatedly excluded me of the plan. I mean they didn't do it with that intention but the plan excluded me. If we had bought the tickets at noon like we usually do, I would be tied to another plan with only 2 of our friends. I love them but the idea is to go all together. And we have managed to organize many many things so it is completely possible to get all of us together. I am trying to find ways to express the fact that I feel this whole situation is horrible and that I feel disrespected. But everytime I write something to post in the group chat I'm sptitting out resentment. I am still so mad. I mean.... they need to be held responsible they cannot just walk all over me. There is a saying that goes something like: you are slave to your words but owner of your silence so I really like being careful with my words. I know me, I am capable of leaving the group because of this. I was about to leave but I decided not to act fueled by anger. I also don't want my actions to be attention-seeking nor do I attempt to victimize myself. I just.... I AM SO UPSET!!!!! HFJFDKFHASJKDF And I feel like I am not going to say anything about it and it makes me more upset! Any words of wisdom? Thanks in advance
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