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nbchiqpi
1,006 M Little Steps 2
PathStep 24 Compassion hearts20 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2020 Member sinceDecember 13, 2015
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Seeking regular listener to talk mostly about abuse related things
General Support / by nbchiqpi
Last post
 March 22nd, 2016
...See more Hi. I'd like to connect with a listener that I can talk to regularly about past abuse issues. Probably other things too if they crop up, but this is my primary focus at this time. I'm largely okay, but things keep cropping up and making me not okay. Like it happens in a cycle. I'm fine for ages and then for a period I'm not fine. I'm always trying not to think about things until it gets to a point where they're just all like "No you WILL think about me NOW" . So, yeah, I just feel if I did allocate thinking/talking time for it I would have this cyclic issue with it. Anyway, yeah. English speaker. Not male, please. Someone open and educated to queer things also. (I'm a person without a gender). Thanks. X
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My Experience of Abuse
Trauma Support / by nbchiqpi
Last post
 December 14th, 2015
...See more Thought I'd also share my story. I was very young when my 'dad' started sexually abusing me. The earliest incident I can isolate was just before my 4th birthday. It carried on until I was 7 years old, when my mum managed to trick him into moving out. I didn't tell anyone about what he did until I was about 14. Then all hell broke loose with social services and things, triggering me to attempt suicide for the first time. Nothing ever came of it though. A few years later he went through the courts to try and get access to me and my younger siblings. He was laughed out. While I was in sixth form (UK equivalent of high school, I think) a member of staff became very close to me. They groomed me. Gave me attention, a laptop, even signed my goddam change of name deed poll when my family didn't support me when I came out as trans. He grew more and more intimate with me. I didn't realise at first. It did make me uncomfortable, but I thought it was just me not knowing how non-abused people's boundaries worked so I convinced myself I was just over reacting. He started casually touching more and more until one day he kissed me. I was so disgusted, I was shaking. I felt betrayed. I felt that he was worse than my 'dad' because where my 'dad' was just outright overtly evil, he tricked me and was much more sneaky in what he did.
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