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neonFig4402
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2021 Member sinceFebruary 2, 2021
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Am I pressuring him?
Relationship Stress / by neonFig4402
Last post
 February 6th, 2021
...See more I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for three years. We meet each other regularly and he’s my best friend. It started when I was 25 and it became purposeful after one year when we decided where we wanted the relationship to go. 3 years later and we’re at a point where things are becoming real! I’ve met his family and he’s met some of mine. I’ve met all of his friends and he’s met mine. We speak about future plans all the time (especially recently) but I often feel as though I’m more into taking practical steps than he is. On my recent trip, he raised the topic about next steps. We said that we’d work towards being married next year, further our education and to be in a better place by then, financially. We set personal goals for ourselves so that we could join up in a years time. I will end up relocating which was a plan before I met him. It all sounded promising... Now that I’ve travelled back, he’s starting ask loads of questions about marriage. About whether he knows he’s ready. To me, it seems to be a sign that maybe he’s not? Or does he just want to learn more? A part of me feels as though he’s only thinking of the idea of marriage because he knows that’s what I want. He’s expressed that he would ideally like to be married at 30 (in another two years) when he’s financially ready etc. but as a woman who wants to settle and have a family young, I don’t think I can wait that long for him to figure it all out. As a result of this, he kind of feels pressured to step his game up earlier than he expected. I’ve also exercised patience and been encouraging him to study and find great job opportunities. Most of our frustrations have been around this topic. I almost feel like if a man was ready, he would know, make a way and go ahead with it. I also understand where he’s coming from but as a woman, I have to also think practically. I love him so much but I often think we should end things just to take the pressure off of him. It doesn’t feel like we’re on the same page... What should I do?
neonFig4402 profile picture
Am I pressuring my boyfriend?
Relationship Stress / by neonFig4402
Last post
 February 5th, 2021
...See more I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for three years. We meet each other regularly and he’s my best friend. It started when I was 25 and it became purposeful after one year when we decided where we wanted the relationship to go. 3 years later and we’re at a point where things are becoming real! I’ve met his family and he’s met some of mine. I’ve met all of his friends and he’s met mine. We speak about future plans all the time (especially recently) but I often feel as though I’m more into taking practical steps than he is. On my recent trip, he raised the topic about next steps. We said that we’d work towards being married next year, further our education and to be in a better place by then, financially. We set personal goals for ourselves so that we could join up in a years time. I will end up relocating which was a plan before I met him. It all sounded promising... Now that I’ve travelled back, he’s starting ask loads of questions about marriage. About whether he knows he’s ready. To me, it seems to be a sign that maybe he’s not? Or does he just want to learn more? A part of me feels as though he’s only thinking of the idea of marriage because he knows that’s what I want. He’s expressed that he would ideally like to be married at 30 (in another two years) when he’s financially ready etc. but as a woman who wants to settle and have a family young, I don’t think I can wait that long for him to figure it all out. As a result of this, he kind of feels pressured to step his game up earlier than he expected. I’ve also exercised patience and been encouraging him to study and find great job opportunities. Most of our frustrations have been around this topic. I almost feel like if a man was ready, he would know, make a way and go ahead with it. I also understand where he’s coming from but as a woman, I have to also think practically. I love him so much but I often think we should end things just to take the pressure off of him. It doesn’t feel like we’re on the same page... What should I do?
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