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nicmidnight
1 1,367 M Little Steps 4
Here..barely.
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts308 Forum posts65 Forum upvotes136 Current upvotes136 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2026 Member sinceOctober 24, 2025
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44

Small business owner

Writer

Singer


Recent forum posts
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Time Is Of No Concern
Depression Support / by nicmidnight
Last post
 December 11th, 2025
...See more Im a very literary person. I view lives, people, places, things, like being inside a book, so I tend to view depression, PTSD, as an entity.  What I've come to find over nearly 20 years of this is there is never a consideration of time and place for depression. You can be living the dream as many tell you, running a small business that you know means so much to the community and start losing the joy you once had for it. You can be in the midst of an always difficult time of year for you, and depression can dump on you, further intensify whats already there. I took this morning a moment I haven't in quite some time, to set an intention for the day, but better ones as I run my store the next 5 days. 
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Reflux
Poetry / by nicmidnight
Last post
 December 4th, 2025
...See more It burns with a toxicity Clutching your chest Hoping for better tomorrows Uncertainty drowning your lungs You brace yourself with a shiver As it rips through you "Don't cry." "Its not that bad." You let the words stumble out Knowing nothing will keep the pain From doubling you over On the brink of vomiting Your knees buckle The tears won't let up This is the reflux Of which your body Your mind Your very spirit Has no answer.
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Yes The Holidays Have Always Been Tough..
Depression Support / by nicmidnight
Last post
 December 1st, 2025
...See more ..but thats because the people I associate with them are all gone. Sure, even growing up during the holidays was tough, but it got tougher as the glue that held my family and its traditions together passed on. 
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The Mental Health Mistrust
Anxiety Support / by nicmidnight
Last post
 November 19th, 2025
...See more I see a therapist every Tuesday, have for just over a year now, and one of the things I've talked about is my huge distrust of the mental health field, and how it all started with my misdiagnosis and the dutiful taking of medications from a psychiatrist I certainly felt I didnt matter to, for 8 years, making myself worse. I had countless therapists disappear without warning, I was hospitalized four times and had people on the psych ward tell me "You better yourself together or you'll end up in the state hospital".  My social media feeds are filled with what I feel are too simple a solution to complex PTSD with generalized anxiety and severe depression. I've called a lot of these people and places out for preying on the desperation of people and offering them false hope. I decided recently to have a consult with a hypnotherapist I found on my feed and the conversation, while going well for the most part, started steering itself towards conversation regarding psychiatry and medications. I listened, and agreed that a multi-pronged, multi-faceted healing process, past just therapy and TCH/CBD tinctures is something for me to look at.  This individual told me I was allowed to text them or message them on ***. I poured my heart out to them on text, both thanking them for the conversation and insight, while also stating why I felt psychiatry and medications was not a path I trusted, with medications typically having more adverse side effects than actual benefits, as well as feeling like psychiatrists in my area are not to be trusted.  All it got in reply was "Sounds good 👍" It hurt. It fostered. So I left this "Anxiety Support Group" she had set up, some of it with rather condescending and abrasive beliefs about healing and went off on her on messenger, telling her how dismissive her reply was and how she's just like the rest I've encountered online, preying on the desperate with false hope. I dont care how much the Internet says hypnotherapy is beneficial to those with PTSD. I think its an absolute crock, and all those who practice it should be ashamed of themselves for making people believe it actually works when it doesn't. 
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"Accepting"
Poetry / by nicmidnight
Last post
 November 18th, 2025
...See more Be honest But not too honest Not here Not now Say what you feel What rumbles within your very soul Just Don't do it here We won't accept it We won't believe it We will simply remove it For cynicism is outlawed Raw truths forbidden And your feelings Whatever they are Only matter If they don't go against community guidelines I know who I am Honestly and truthfully I will apologize for my bluntness But never the fact its been a weapon of my survival.
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Only You
Poetry / by nicmidnight
Last post
 November 10th, 2025
...See more It is lit on every candle Spelling it out on every screen I take it as I find it Laced in skepticism and failed attempts For this exhausting Not that they care These "coaches", these "mental health gurus" Speaking in overused fads Facades wrapped in pearly white dreams Preying on the desperation of the fallen No It can only be me For no one is coming to save me
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