nishaurora Member Profile

...See more So I met this guy on bumble, and it turns out we had mutual friends - like we had met many years prior at a get together, and now here we are talking and seeing each other- that was around 5 months ago. Since then there’s been issues in defining the relationship I would like to define it and make it exclusive. However these are things he doesn’t want. Yet he isn’t out there seeking other partners , nor is he intimate with other people, we talk daily, he does the good morning good nights - we are respectful and friendly and we give each other the much needed space we both need. He’s also expressed not wanting to hurt me or do anything to hurt me which is why he doesn’t want to be exclusive. He has a lot of trauma from his past relationships where he was made to feel like he was always doing something wrong. But I do have insecurities - so exclusivity means something it’s that little bit of verbal reassurance that I am important. However, when we are together and in public he’s not hiding anything he’s very affectionate and very nice , and insofar as possible he tries his best to take me on dates ( for context there’s a large discrepancy in our earnings, and I am 5 years older) . In addition to all this he’s thoughtful, and very personable and I enjoy the ease and calmness of the relationship and interaction with him. however this issue of a lack of exclusivity is causing me distress, 2 weeks ago I ended things and yesterday I wanted to reconcile and that didn’t happen either because we couldn’t come to an agreement of what we needed from each other. yet what I know is I don’t want to lose him. would compromising on my boundaries be wrong ? could I get some advice ?

Bio

Recent forum posts

Talk to an expert therapist

Hi, my name is Melissa and I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. I hope...

About Us

Get Started

Online Therapy

Terms

Bio