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nizzy40
98 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2021 Member sinceJuly 14, 2021
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I really can't stop (tw)
Self-Harm Recovery / by nizzy40
Last post
 December 25th, 2021
...See more I haven't self harmed in a long time but every once in a while when I'm lost in my thoughts and I see my scars I want to do it again. Most of the time I don't only because there's nothing in my reach I could do it with but other times there is and I just add more. I can feel the pain but for some reason it makes me feel so numb inside and I like feeling that. Not the pain but the numbness. I'm addicted to that feeling I think and I don't know how to stop. Currently I haven't hurt myself in, I think, half a year or a little less. What do I do?
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How do I break up with an unstable partner?
Relationship Stress / by nizzy40
Last post
 August 21st, 2021
...See more I need help breaking up with my partner. I've attempted multiple times but every time I do it, it always ends in some kinda of massive drama that I don't think should happen if my partner was mentally stable. :( He is crazy in love with me and I used to feel the same way but a lot happened and we broke up many times. We had a lot of plans about the future and everything but I don't think it will happen anymore and I don't think he's the one for me. Our interests aren't in line and I don't want the things he wants anymore. I've tried talking to him but he just doesn't understand what I want. And that when I just stop talking about because he's too busy thinking about how I just want to leave or how sad this is or something. I want to do what I feel makes me happy. Sometimes he does make me happy but other times I can see the amount of impulsiveness he has and the amount of unstable mentality he has. I talk to him about things like that and I tell him how Im not feeling very happy and I want to leave but then he starts freaking out and crying and begging me not to and I'm not strong enough to just hang up after he gets so crazy. I try to tell him I feel trapped and I try to work with him asking him for other things like an open relationship at least or something and he starts getting worried and makes it obvious he's having anxiety and showing it but pretends he's trying to hide it or talks in disgust or like he's judging me. I don't know how to keep going with this and I don't know how to break up with him. It just keeps going back and forth all the time now. And then, other times we're all good and we're having fun and I forget all about how I felt before. Then he's says something that reminds me of how unstable he is or how he really doesn't understand what I want at the end of the day and I remember again. I feel sad again and I want to leave again. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't even bring up anything close to it anymore because he'll give me that extremely sad face and look like he's about to cry while he's talking to me. I really need help.
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