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noklica
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2016 Member sinceSeptember 13, 2015
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How to overcome the bad medical examination experience?
Trauma Support / by noklica
Last post
 August 31st, 2017
...See more Hello everyone, I've been coping with this every now and then for some time now and it's got to a point where I have no intimate life and feel ashamed almost everyday. So, the story goes back to the begining of this year. I went to another gynecologist since I needed my therapy changed and my doctor basically refused any talk about it because it is still not that critical. So okay, I went to another Dr to get another opinion and also because my mother has been going there for more than 20 years and is very satisfied(that new Dr is known to be great at diagnostics). Everything was normal starting with standard talk and questions,and following the examination painful as always since I struggle with severe yeast infections. At the end of examination he asked me if I know how to properly insert vaginal pill aplicator. I replied positive because I've done it so many times before, been using tampons etc. Okay, then he took that glass test tube and required me to show him. After I refused explaining that I find it inappropriate and disgusting he simply put it inside me. Oh my God, I felt so bad :(( I didn't know what to do and thought I will burst into tears at that moment(that is my biggest fear, to cry in front of Dr). My whole body felt like it got into a cramp, I was there but actually wasn't, silent and stupid. I doubt he meant to hurt me, but it affected me in a worst possible way. When something triggers it, I have to go to bathroom for a few minutes to cry myself out and to relax a bit. I had no sexual intercourses with my fiance since then and I feel so repressed, as all of my physical feelings, desires do not exist anymore, only disgust for my body. I really do feel stupid for just not leaving that room at the moment. I don't know what happened and I just want to forget it but it seems that more I try to leave it behind the more it gets in front of me.(sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language)
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