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ohpatricia
140 M Embraced 1
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2018 Member sinceAugust 28, 2018
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Panic attacks meeting Internet friends, please help!!
Anxiety Support / by ohpatricia
Last post
 January 27th, 2019
...See more A few months ago I attended a convention where I was planning to meet up with a friend I had met online in real life for the first time. I was already feeling a little off that day but the moment she texted me saying she was there a wave of anxiety rushed through my body and it only got worse, soon becoming a full blown panic attack. I tried my best to work through it as I truly wanted to meet her and this would be my only opportunity, but as soon as I saw her making her way to where I was I bolted and hid out in the bathroom. I ended up having to go home as I was too sick to handle meeting anyone and I still feel awful about it. Something similar also happened when I was planning to meet up with my future roommate who I had only spoken to online previous, though I was ultimately able to cool down and make it through the day without incident. Now I have a friend I am pretty close to (I actually kind of have a major crush on her which makes this even more nerve wracking) and I would love to meet up with her in real life but I just know the anxiety would be too much for me and I would end up getting sick before we even got to meet. I just don't know what to do. I really want to meet her. :'(
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Sexual and Romantic Guilt
Relationship Stress / by ohpatricia
Last post
 September 17th, 2018
...See more For a long time I believed I was an aromantic asexual until someone pointed out that this leaning might actually be related to some unresolved issues involving sexuality in my past. When I was a child up until my early teen years I did a lot of things while exploring my sexuality that haunt me to this day and because of this I have never been able to feel right in a romantic setting. Every time I would be intimate with my former partner I would get flashbacks to those moments and the guilt and disgust would overtake me. It got to the point where I didn't even like being touched at all, even in a more platonic way. I also feel incredibly uncomfortable when confronted as being LGBT+ even though I identify as such and I have no idea why. I want to feel comfortable and happy with my sexuality, and a relationship is something I genuinely desire, but it's just so hard. How do I move past this?
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