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oliveComputer4138
244 M Embraced 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2023 Member sinceOctober 26, 2023
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Am I wrong or is she
Relationship Stress / by oliveComputer4138
Last post
 October 28th, 2023
...See more Okay so my girl is upset because I applied at work at a night job. We are having issues and almost broke up a week ago because of her religious views of not being able to doing anything other than make out, kiss, cuddle, and hold hands. When I told her that I was frustrated that she can’t move in with me due to her faith, she started saying “okay well I can’t spend the night more often? I can go over more so it’s like I’m living there?” And I said, “no that’s not the same” and she said “okay I can start bringing some of my personal things over then?” And I said “it’s still not the same thing.” And she just kept going and going: “okay what about if we do laundry together then? You can teach me how to cook and we can do things together more at your house.” And I said “it’s still not the same thing as moving in. You’re just coming over, not living here.” And she said, “I don’t know what else to say. I’m quite literally giving you want you want and still following my beliefs at the same time. I’m bending over backwards for you to compromise. You do know that spending the night at a guys house is still severely frowned upon in my religion but I’m willing to do that for you? Do you not see how I’m bending over backwards for you to make sure we both get what we want and you can’t do the same for me?” And I said “how am I getting what I want though? You’re not fully moving in.” And she said “omg. It’s not the fact that I am not fully moving in, it’s that I am trying to find a compromise to give you want you want. And you saying I’m only getting what I want is actually the other way around. I am not saying you have to follow my beliefs but you have to compromise when I can’t give you certain things just like I am trying to do with you. You are the one complaining that you aren’t getting what you want when I’m quite literally trying to do just that and you can’t see it.” I just don’t understand why she can’t understand that her just staying for the night or whatever is not like her fully moving in. I told her that I accepted the suggestion and would work on the relationship with her and I apologized to her. But I feel like sometimes she gets what she wants and I don’t. I don’t know how to explain it. But anyways, I need a good paying job right now because I am also struggling and I found a job but it’s a night job. I applied for it and told her I got an interview for it. She was highly upset and we argued about it. She said “why would you tell me that you wanted to work on this relationship if you are planning on working at a job that will make you spend less time with me? This doesn’t make any sense. You say you want thing but then you go and show me another. You do realize this job will ruin the relationship YOU told me you wanted to work on, right?” And I explained how badly I needed the job because of car payments etc. and she said “and why not apply to the jobs I helped you find? I sat down and tried to help you find jobs that match the pay you wanted and the jobs that interest you but you never once searched the jobs I found. You may have looked at them once but then discarded them.” I just badly need this job and I feel like she’s trying to control me into getting a job she wants me to do.
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