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oliveOak1852
303 M Embraced 2
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2019 Member sinceOctober 10, 2018
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What happened to me and do I even want to know?
Trauma Support / by oliveOak1852
Last post
 October 13th, 2019
...See more For the past 10 years Ive experimented with LSD in its many dosages. I always have a wonderful experience and for the most part the other day really was fantastic. But when my gf went to touch me in a rather innocent, yet still flirtatious way. This is normally not a bad thing. Sometimes sex makes me feel uncomfortable or anxious and Ive never known why bc I def enjoy it when I choose to engage in sex. But when she touched me I instantly had a terrible flashback to waking up so anxious and scared in my aunts bed as a small child. I got so stuck in that hoarders bedroom. Surrounded by shit I didnt recognize and I felt groggy and icky. I never liked staying away from home again. Ever. When I tried, I had anxious nightmares I never could recall. Eventually I got out of that headspace while tripping but the vision was a memory. One I couldnt shake off. I recalled every detail I could. But thats all I have. What the hell hapoened? Was I drugged? Shes always had a pill problem so its plausible. Was it her? Or did she just let one of her shady drifter friends that oddly stayed at her house the same nights I did? Did they touch me? Take photos? What happened that caused me to never be the same again? Do I even want to know? Do I dare try to dig further into this?
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