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optimisticBirch1215
1 1,257 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts71 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2025 Member sinceNovember 9, 2024
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Lost of my 6 week old daughter to SIDS
Grief & Loss / by optimisticBirch1215
Last post
 February 5th, 2025
...See more It's been 18 years since I lost my daughter and on this day I lost myself. I have a husband and 2 sons and have been there physically but mentally I have been gone. I forgot how to communicate with anyone. I try to be there but my mind is so blank. The last 18 years I have built my life around this and I am the only one in it. The blame and guilt I have for not saving her. I was her mother and I was her protector and I have failed at both. I don't deserve anything because with a mistake like this how can anyone live with there self. I quit self caring for myself since and it's been 1 health emergency after another and husband always makes me go to the hospital when I fight with him that I don't need to go. Just give me 1 more day to see if I am going get betterI have tried consuling, physiatrist's, meds, drugs, and alcohol and can't seem to find anything that helps. I have been stuck but the days and time keep going. Why can a healthy 6 week old die when I do so much damage to myself and I am still here?
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