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orangeSkies8476
243 M Embraced 2
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2022 Member sinceSeptember 23, 2020
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What to do about someone I care about who is depressed
Depression Support / by orangeSkies8476
Last post
 October 1st, 2020
...See more I am not sure what the best place for this kind of thing is but basically I've had an online relationship with someone for about a year who struggles with depression and anxiety. They have their ups and downs but it sounds like things are probably the worst since I've known them lately. I didn't hear from them for a couple of months and said I miss them the other night. We talked a bit, things seemed normal and they said they'd talk more the next day. Most of the next day goes by and I got kind of upset and asked if they want rid of me (since we haven't talked in so long and they didn't talk to me after saying they would and so on). They said it wasn't me and that they were dealing with a lot of things in their life (which is true, it sounds like they are living in a toxic environment and are caring for a kid). We talked a bit more about the situation and they also said they ignore most of their friends and family's calls and texts too because they're depressed. Eventually they said they will not be available for some time due to depression and caretaking duties for the child they care for. Maybe it was melodramatic of me and I shouldn't have but I guess I've been struggling a bit too (I'm sure I'm not as severely depressed as they are, but I'm quite lonely with the restrictions due to the virus and it's hard not talking to someone I care about for long periods of time) so I asked for reassurance that they would get back in touch when they could. They said they didn't know if they would. Hurt by that one I asked if they still had feelings for me and they said "I don't know. I have been depressed so I haven't been able to feel much" Gaps in our conversations have been normal and they usually come back, apologize, and explain that they were depressed but always maintain that they want me. This is the first time they have said anything like this (during the conversation on the previous day they said they "think about me"). Of course I regret pressing the issue at this point but unfortunately I already did. Should I cease contact or apologize at some point for asking them these things while depressed? How long should I wait if so? Is it possible someone would say this while depressed and not mean it? Have I lost this person forever?
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