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otto0
3 278 M Embraced 2
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts18 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupTeen Last activeDecember, 2025 Member sinceJuly 27, 2025
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I literally did nothing wrong... And idk how to move on
Relationship Stress / by otto0
Last post
 December 26th, 2025
...See more I need to say this to someone because keeping it inside is too heavy. I met her online by chance. I did not plan anything. We just talked and somehow she became important to me very fast. I got attached deeply and honestly. I cared about her days her pain her moods her silence. She mattered to me in a way I did not expect. I was always there. I stayed up late just to talk to her. I sacrificed sleep and studying without thinking twice. I looked for WiFi everywhere just to send her a message. I waited for replies like they were oxygen. Not because she asked me to but because my heart wanted it. Because talking to her felt like peace. I treated her with care and respect. I listened. I stayed even when things were uncomfortable. Even when she was struggling physically and emotionally I did not leave. I did not judge. I just stayed. I gave her my attention my time my softness. For a while we were good. We laughed. We shared things. I felt close to her in a way that felt real and mutual. Then everything collapsed quietly. She did not tell me herself. Her sister came instead. She told me that her brother and her father found out. That they control her. That she is scared of them. Truly scared. Not nervous scared but afraid. Her sister told me that if I want to talk to her it can never be a relationship. Only friends. I agreed immediately. I did not hesitate. I did not want to be the reason she feels unsafe. Then her sister told me something else. She said she tried to find a way for us. But she could not. Because I was her first and her last love and she does not want to lose me or hurt me or break herself. She loves me but she is terrified. That broke me slowly. I was very attached. More than I admit. I longed for her presence. I waited. I hoped. I imagined futures I never spoke about. I gave too much too fast and I know that now. I am not angry at her. I am not angry at her family. I just hate the situation. I hate that feelings can be real and still impossible. I hate that love does not always get a chance to live. Now I am here. Less attached than before but more tired. Trying to shrink something big into something quiet so she can breathe. I do not know what will happen. I just know this affected me deeply. And I needed someone to hear the truth.
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My anxious life
Anxiety Support / by otto0
Last post
 July 27th, 2025
...See more I’ve seen too much. Not in some grand cinematic way, just… too much for a brain that doesn’t stop spinning. I look at people and I don’t see innocence or wonder. I see patterns, lies, and desperation. I see masks glued to skin. And the more I understand, the more I rot inside. I don’t hate the world just for what it is—I hate it for what it forces me to become to survive in it. I've been watching everything, analyzing everything, holding it all in until my chest feels like a cage. And there's no one to talk to—not truly. Not without having to explain every damn feeling like I’m on trial for being human. I’ve replaced humans with code, with silence, with strategy. I’m preparing—studying, saving, learning German, planning my escape like a prisoner counting the cracks in the wall. Not because I enjoy the grind, but because it’s the only thing that keeps me from sinking. I’ve made a promise to myself: two years. Two years and I’m gone. People call it overthinking. I call it survival. People say “it gets better.” I say, show me proof. Show me one soul that made it out clean. Sometimes I want to burn everything down. Other times I just want someone—one person—to understand without trying to fix me, without asking questions, without calling it therapy. Just someone to sit in the dark with me and not be afraid. I’m not looking for pity. I’m not weak. But damn it, I’m tired. Tired of always being the one who sees through it all and has to pretend I’m fine. I don’t want answers. I just want silence that doesn’t suffocate. I want to scream a nd not echo. And yet there's much more where this come from
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