Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Talk to a licensed therapist Wherever you are, whenever you need support. Get matched
paperconsumer
729 M Little Steps
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts35 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2021 Member sinceMay 30, 2021
Bio
Recent forum posts
paperconsumer profile picture
Covert and subtle
Trauma Support / by paperconsumer
Last post
 June 29th, 2021
...See more It is about my patents. I am female. When I was around 4-5, My mom used to let me watch her wiping her naked butt and thighs after shower. Is it appropriate? I am still confused up to this day. Around that time, one day my mom asked me to smell of her pubic area, and then had me bury my face in there. It smelled so bad that I jumped away immediately. My mom laughed out loud. When I turned 7, one day at the lunch table, my dad started to stare at me in a way that a man looks lustfully at a woman. I felt very uncomfortable and wanted to escape. I looked to my mom for help, but she stopped from escaping. Instead, she asked me to take my dad's obnoxious stare bravely and look him back. In retrospect, I felt like a prostitute being trained by my mom to respond "eleglantly" to my buyer. From that day on, my dad no longer inhibited his pervert stares at me when we sat at the same table. And whenever my dad did that to me, I could notice my mom was observing me, too, laughing maliciously in silence. When my dad first did that, I did not yet know the word "incest". But soon, the moment I saw this word on newspaper, I knew immediately it is THE word to describe my ilky feelings about my dad. It is also at that age I started to masturbate in secret. When my breasts started to grow visibly around 11, my mom and an uncle of mine would fix their eyes on them. Even up to this day, my mom still does the same thing to me, despite my serious protests. When I was middle school, my mom used to peep me when I was in my room. She also read my diary, in which I wrote out my amorous and sexual thoughts. How did I know? It is because she commented on my acts and writing on the next morning after having done it. She felt totally entitled and legitimate to do it. I have a brother, and perverse things my mom has been doing to him are even more frequent and overt. Both my brother and I have had long-term mental illness. Nowadays I just avoid talking to my parents as much as possible. I just fucking hate them.
Search more from @paperconsumer
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
10 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Quintet Chief Chat Honest Voice Strong Start Reconnect First Post Reaching out First Compassion
Report an issue
Feel better with online therapy Professional, confidential and affordable. Start today
Talk to a licensed therapist Wherever you are, whenever you need support. Get matched