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passionateApricot5082
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2026 Member sinceApril 4, 2026
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something I need some advice on regarding my relationship with my boyfriend
Relationship Stress / by passionateApricot5082
Last post
 April 11th
...See more I am a 1st year undergrad(19) and I've known my boyfriend(21) since day 1. we were good friends but later after a few months I started developing romantic feelings towards him. I was trying hard to deny my feelings because I'm not the type of person who develops romantic feelings for someone easily. but the more time i spent with him, the more i wish I'd be closer to him. so i had confessed to him bout how I feel about him during the end of February 2026 and then I asked him to date during the starting of March 2026. So we've been dating for a month now. I really really like him so much, i dont think I've liked somebody so much before, I say this because in my past relationships (being a people pleaser) i felt like i forced myself to like someone and it was not genuine (im not like that anymore. I've grown out of that) for the past few days or weeks, i noticed I've been having quite a lot of arguments with him. when I called him gay or saying "u wanna svck MY d1ck" he said he got extremely insulted and offended and we had a whole argument/deep talk about that. he told me to stop doing that and I did stop. I've been careful not to hurt him again. then one day i brought up the topic of homophobia saying i dont like that he's a bit homophobic because I like both men and women nd it lowk feels to me like he indirectly hates me too. we resolved that argument as well. im a big overthinker and he knows that, he even told me that if i date him i need to not overthink. so *** my overthinking has kinda contributed to our arguments lately. during this one month, he has visited me at my home multiple times(he's also come to my home before when we were still friends) and we did lots of intimate things except for s3x because I'm not okay with s3x right now. I feel its too early to have s3x when we've only dated for a month. he says he wouldnt force me to do it but he wants to do it with me. he even tried to buy c0nd0ms for real when i thought he was just joking around about buying it.  that aside, the main reason im writing this thread is because yesterday i had my morning ruined by my family. i face family problems everyday and it makes me cry nd h4rm myself every now and then. i reached university, i saw my boyfriend and we talked a bit while walking to class. mind you i had my sleep ruined the night before so I was very tired and unwell too. i told my boyfriend how terrible i was feeling. when we reached the elevator, he was telling its my fault (he was talking bout my sleep) but because of my already ruined mood, it sounded wrong to me and it made me feel even worse. i understand he wasnt tryin to harm me or smth but i started tearing up, i was rubbing my eyes constantly to wipe away my tears. he saw me but im surprised he didn't do anything. i did not talk to him at all. when we reached class i went to a corner nd cried even more. he was on his phone nd talking to his friends. he did not talk to me the entire day, I spent the day with my friends and one of my friends(who came to comfort me) asked me "why did your boyfriend not approach you when you were crying?" i dont know.  later that day, during lunch time i got him a drink nd tried giving it to him but he refused. he didnt even look at me. then he goes on not texting me the entire day. my friends said i should not text him but wait for his text. he still has not texted me. hes active though.  i dont believe this but my friend told me that there was one time he said he ghosted his ex for a long time until she was fed up nd broke up with him because he does not have the courage to breakup with her.  what do i do? im scared because i like him so much but he's making me hate him nd I don't like that. does he even love me??☹️
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