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peachtea722
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts19 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2022 Member sinceMarch 16, 2022
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I wanna know how to move on… I still love him
Relationship Stress / by peachtea722
Last post
 March 17th, 2022
...See more I need to vent for the worst dating experience I’ve ever had. Sorry for the long post!! My ex (33M) just broke up with me (22F) after I visited him in the US. He didn’t break up with me while I stayed with him but he broke up with me after I came back to my country on the phone. We were in a long distance relationship for 1 year, and he doesn’t wanna do online date nights or text frequently anymore because he feels forced. I met him in Australia 2 years ago. I usually went to his place once or twice a week. We didn’t really discuss about relationship but I really liked him. And he said “ do you like being my girl?” by voice chat. So I thought I was dating with him at the time. But he had been seeing some girls as well which he had never mentioned. When he left Australia, he asked me that if I wanna continue this relationship. I said yes, and I asked him “are you my boyfriend?” And he said yes. So we started dating officially?? Also, he wrote a letter that said “I’ve never liked anyone as much as I like you”. Even though, he married twice.( he had divorced already tho) After he went back to the US, he started to hike on the Appalachien trail. And he started ignoring my texts and stopped contacting with me. We talked about me visiting him and hiking together before he started hiking, but he said it’s not a good idea because hiking is too tough. Then he suggested me to see other people and he told me that he is now seeing the girl on the trail. When he mentioned about her, he described her as “just a hiking things”. After that, He said he wanted to try poly relationship. This is the first time I heard about polyamory from him. But later, he told me he was solo poly in Australia which I didn’t know. I still really liked him. So I decided to try poly relationship. But I was struggling with jealousy and insecurity probably because I didn’t see him for a year and he and the girl from the trail live in the same city. But anyway, finally, I would be able to visit him in the US and stay for few weeks. I really enjoyed spending time with him. We went to a lot of places and had wonderful dinner. But when we went out, he used his phone a lot and I wasn’t really sure if he is enjoying or not. And one time I saw him texting his other partner when we went on the date. I felt like he cannot stop thinking of other partner even we went on the date. Also, once he told me that he doesn’t use his phone when he is with someone. But when he is with me, he uses his phone a lot?? I wasn’t sure that if I am his important person or not, then I felt insecure about it. I wasn’t so mature and I cried a lot because of my insecurities. I should’ve told him that how I felt more. But it’s too late. I wanted to continue this relationship even we are in LDR. So I asked him that what’s gonna be like before I left. But he just said “ it’s going to be less cuddling and we could talk about it later when you get back home.” It was a painful flight and I messaged him on the plane. I asked him that I wanna know when I can see you again. Then he said he hasn’t known yet, but probably in Europe or my country. After I got back home, we talked on the phone. He asked me about my plan first. I told him that not seeing him for a year was too tough. I wanna see you at least twice a year. Then he started talking about his thoughts. What he was saying is, 1, he doesn’t wanna online date nights or frequent text, because he feels forced. 2, he has been expected me to be his vacation friend. ( not frequently talking each other but traveling together sometime) 3, when we stayed together, I was so insecure and it was annoying. He lost interests in me. 4, staying in other countries for few weeks cost us a lot. And he cannot do that. 5,if I could move to the US, he would like to see me again. Then he just broke up with me after I got back home. I paid for airplane, visa, COVID test(it’s so expensive actually), taxi (from airport to his place, and his place to airport), some souvenirs for him. Also, Even though he is 11 years older than me, he is broke. So I tried not to be burden financially. I got some lunch, dinner, drinks. I thought I did almost everything I could do for him. But I felt like I lost a lot of things, money, time, great memories… And I wish he broke up with me before I left in the US, then I didn’t have to drag this feeling into my country. He keeps telling me that he still like me a lot. It’s just long distance is so hard. He wants us to be friends and see each other in the future. Part of me, I just wanna stop contacting with him completely, but the other part of me, I wanna see him again… Thank you for reading those long story. I think I just wanted to share my sad feelings… P.S. he promised me that he won’t break up with my after this visit. I don’t know why this guy could easily promise what he couldn’t. But I should be glad not to be dragged by this guy anymore.
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