penguinl Member Profile

...See more About a month or so ago i sat down to think about my actions. ive had lots of emotional outbursts, even when i was little. one little thing could set me off and id be upset for the whole day. i have very severe anxiety and ocd but i am worried that this could be undiagnosed asd? i looked into the symptoms of these things, and it has tied all to my behaviors. 1: desire for no change. when my mother told me she was pregnant in november of 2021, i got extremely upset for the mere fact that is was something different. i hid in my room and cried the rest of the night. i then stopped talking to my mother for a few days because i couldnt get it out of my head how upset i was. fast forward a month, she told me that she had to have a miscarriage. i was very sad for her and our family, but a part of me was relieved because that meant that there would be no change in my life. i also struggle with the topics of moving schools. although im not the biggest fan of my school, i cannot stand the thought of moving to somewhere else. my mom has said she planned to move to a different state, and it automatically made me irritated and upset. i am fully aware that change may be for the better, but my mind physically dismisses that and i dont know why. 2: hyperfixations. ive had many friends come and go due to me obsessing over things for months at a time. and my obsessions usually last 2-3 months. then its like i never even knew about said subject. right now ive been obsessed with adventure time and other silly cartoon shows. ive been so obsessed ive been researching about the characters and the psychology of their behaviors as well as the dates of every important episode. ive gotten so obsessed to the point where i no longer want to talk to people because my mind revolves around the thing im obsessed with. ive becomes obsessed with a real person from a band. so obsessed to the point where i don't listen to the other bands i listen to anymore, because i like this specific band so much. and then id randomly stop liking them 3: ive heard women with asd are better with masking/mirroring. i tend to mirror peoples tones if im unsure with how they are trying to express theirselves. i got into an argument with my girlfriend and when she started to get angry, i felt the need to get angry too because i felt like that was the right emotion to begin with. i was initially sad, but her tone caused me to completely freak out. when im around other people i try to mirror their personalities and it eventually rubs off on me. when i stop hanging out with them i stop acting like them. theres a lot more but it honestly upsets me. if any one on the spectrum could give me advice or anything of the sort id greatly appreciated it. thank you.

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