pensivepotato Member Profile

...See more To preface this, I'm very fortunate to have a psychologist. However, due to the cost, I can only go once a month. I'm not comfortable speaking to friends/family about this subject quite yet, so I'm looking for some immediate advice here. I've been using the labels of aro/ace privately for about a year now. At first, it was comforting to find some words that corresponded with how I felt... but over time, the struggle to come to terms with it has gotten progressively worse. One of my best friends just had their first anniversary with their boyfriend about a week ago. I've never seen them so happy before, and it's heartwarming. That being said, it has triggered a lot of self reflection for me. With this milestone, now all 4 of my best friends are in committed relationships. Two of them are planning marriages. I'm 25. Over the years I've had so many excuses, holding out hope that I'm the latest of bloomers. All can be traced back to my anxiety disorder and depression: low self esteem, poor self care, severe lack of dating experience, etc. But the fact remains that I've never experienced romantic or sexual attraction towards anyone, regardless of identity. Aesthetic attraction is a concept that resonates with me, though. Overall, I feel broken. Sometimes I feel like I'll never be fully human for not being able to have these experiences. To anyone that read this all the way through, I sincerely thank you.

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