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persistentBike4956
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2023 Member sinceFebruary 13, 2023
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Relationship Stress / by persistentBike4956
Last post
 February 23rd, 2023
...See more I am 21, he is 18 (gay relationship) we have been together for about 9 months. This is his first real relationship, my 2nd. Few things. I’ll try to be as brief as possible. Also I’m ok with being told I’m in the wrong if you guys might feel that I am. So one issue between us has been going on since late last Fall. He has made friends in his school with I think is great because before he really kept to himself for reasons but in the last year or so has gotten the confidence to step out some and make friends. In his “group” of friends are 3 other gay boys. I mean a gay person having other gay friends I think is ok. Good support too. The problem is that 2 of them have made it clear that they want him. All three of them know that he is a relationship, which by the way, they have disrespected him by saying things disrespectful of the relationship. One of the 2 has made it clear that he will still try to “Have him” even though he’s in a relationship with me. For many months this boy has tried to win his heart with little gifts, brings him food from home, offers many favors and has given him money before (My boyfriend is a new legal immigrant to the country, having been here approximately 3 years and has no real financial support here except me and what he makes at his job) my boyfriend has often accepted these gifts, and money. The latest is a $300 pair of Nikes. We have had discussions before about these two boys. He feels that I am making too big of a deal about it. I tried to explain to him that, regardless of who your boyfriend is when there are other boys interested in you that you want to be close with, it’s kind of a big deal. He says there is no feelings for them except as friends. I have expressed to him that they don’t seem to be very real friends because they all have ulterior motives plus they do not even respect you and your relationship. The other issue is that recently they’ve all been encouraging him to join the swim team this summer. Personally, I think it’s a great idea to be involved in something like that. The problem is the other boy who wants him and has made his intentions clear would also be on the team. I would think that would certainly make this other boy very happy to be in a locker room and shower, etc with my boyfriend without going into too much detail here. He has also described this boy as having a bold personality. I am trying to meet my boyfriend halfway with the situations and when I ask him why he wants to be close with these boys who want him he just says because they’re my friends and we’re a group. I do not want to come across as controlling because that is not really my personality, but this seems all wrong! I am OK if he is friendly with them as long as he keeps them at a distance, so to speak. No gifts, favors, etc. I should also say that my boyfriend has a very innocent naïveness about him. I think that is just because he’s not had a lot of experience socially. Am I being too paranoid? I mean I think these would both be issues in any relationship? If you guys have any questions, feel free to ask. I may have left something out.
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