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pinkpeaches22
169 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2021 Member sinceJuly 31, 2021
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relationship help
Newbie Hub / by pinkpeaches22
Last post
 August 23rd, 2021
...See more so i’m a very insecure person and have anxiety and i also get very very sad when things hurt my feelings. my boyfriend hates all of these and he says that i treat him very poorly whenever i’m like this (so 24/7). now i know that i’m a terrible girlfriend and that i don’t push him to be better or make sure he’s doing the things he needs to be doing and that i’m a terrible communicator and take everything personal and can’t have a conversation without my feelings getting hurt and he says that all those things make him feel unloved and like i don’t want to be with him and he makes sure that i understand 24/7 that i lack girlfriend aspects and that i’m wrong for whatever i did that time and basically points out every single detail to me which doesn’t make it easier for me to focus on what i need to be doing as a girlfriend. besides all this i also have a lot of overthinking thoughts especially about times that he’s cheated on me, or done something to hurt my feelings but he says that he did all those hurtful things to me because i hurt him somehow for him to do all that. he knows that he’s hurt me and that it makes it harder for me to not fuck up anymore but all he does it just tell me i fucked up and then go and do something to hurt me and when i tell him he hurt me he just tells me that i did this or i did that and that’s why he did it. i don’t know what to do anymore. i hurt him first in the very beginning of our relationship (i lied to him) and that’s what’s started all this down spiral of hurting each other. i’ve never talked to a guy while with him, the most i’ve done is just not stand on my word or not communicate etc. he has cheated on me for several months and then just this week started talking to the same girl again after telling me he would never talk to her again ( he had to unblock her to do this). now he’s always been honest when i find out and ask him. ive been so down for the past year and a half and it’s gotten to the point that i’ve given myself too much insulin or didn’t give myself insulin at all (i’m a type one diabetic) to hopefully pass in my sleep. which never works he always makes me treat it but it’s also like that’s mostly the only time i feel loved by him. i don’t know what to do anymore
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