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placidPond0509
217 M Embraced 2
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2021 Member sinceOctober 2, 2021
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Complex Family Problem - Help?
Family & Caregivers / by placidPond0509
Last post
 October 2nd, 2021
...See more Hi there, my story is a long one but I’ll do the best to put it in a nutshell. Any help would be deeply appreciated. I am a 25 year old woman living on my own, but since I graduated college I moved across the country to live near my aunt and uncle. My mom and dad were abusive and struggled with addiction for a majority of my childhood. I often had to be the parent for my little brother (he is 17) in their stead. I didn’t know my Aunt and Uncle super well until I moved out here. I was really relieved to finally have “normal” parents and have a stable family. Things were all good for a while, and they even adopted my little brother shortly after I moved here. He was being abused by my dad so they took him in. I live in the same city about 10 minutes away from their house, and I actually work at the same place my Uncle works. I thought we finally had stability. My Uncle and I became really close. Like best buddies! He is like a dad so it was really healing to me. But almost a year ago he confessed that he had romantic feelings for me and that my Aunt cheated on him three times and basically blamed him for it. The feelings part was creepy but I felt so bad for him and that I had to be a listening ear to help him. It subsided for a while and he didn’t do anything weird to me or make any comments so I ignored it. But a few months ago, he told me that he was romantically in love with me. Then told my aunt that. I felt so sick to my stomach and couldn’t sleep that night… He said to everyone he doesn’t want to feel this way but it still makes me feel unsafe. And I can see from how my Aunt and him act together and what he has told me that they are not happy. I feel really grossed out. I took some time and space to myself and started feeling better. But this week they are on vacation and my little brother is staying at my house. He has been telling me all the stuff going on at home and how their relationship is still messed up. It is becoming so stressful and anxiety inducing for me that I just want to cut ties with them. But I am one of the only safe adults in my brother’s life and he lives with them. I also work with my Uncle at the same workplace. I have been trying to do low contact with them but when I do see them I feel tension from my aunt, guilt tripping from my uncle for not being around them as often, and disrespect for my own space and boundaries. what do I do in this situation? I am really struggling and I don’t think they will change. But I want to stay connected to my brother, even if I do not want to stay connected with aunt and uncle. thank you 😞
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