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ponyo134
1,206 M Little Steps 3
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts23 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2023 Member sinceSeptember 5, 2022
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How to get over a past relationship?
Relationship Stress / by ponyo134
Last post
 September 6th, 2022
...See more That's an actual question that I need the answer for. I thought that I overcame the relationship in the past but recently I found myself grieving about what I had to go through, It's affecting my current life especially my current relationship. I want to know if there's any effective way to better cope with it. To be more specific about that relationship, we met right after we had just gotten out of a relationship of our own (2 weeks for me and a month for him). we started dating in May with the frequency of meeting once a week. Later in September he suggested we should meet twice a week cuz meeting only once a week was "not enough". I was so happy to hear that, I felt like he really liked me. The relationship I had had before him was a toxic one so when I started dating him I feel like he was the one, but he always told me that he was just doing the bare minimums and there was nothing too special about how he treated me. Eventually we got burned out, I kinda felt it but still thought it was no big deal (I was not very experienced in dating back then) so I refused to put more work into fixing the burn out. As a result he broke up with me at the beginning of January. The thing is, at that point I didn't see any big problems with the relationship, I even felt like I was falling for him more and more every day. He didn't give any signs of wanting to break up with me either. A week before that we had still went out for dinner with his friends, 3 days before the breakup, he had come to my place, we cooked and had dinner, we watched a movie with my roommate, everything was normal. All of a sudden he texted me saying he wanted to end it. I thought he was kidding. When I finally accepted that he was serious, I asked what the reason was. He said he got bored, that he didn't want to be in a comfortable relationship, that he wanted to feel excited to see me which he did not anymore. He also said he started to feel that way in September that's why he suggested to meet more. That hit me hard, turned out while I thought he wanted to meet more because he liked me too much, he was actually losing feelings. the relationship lasted 8 months and half the time he was just faking it. I took a year to try to get over the breakup, work on myself and started dating again. My current relationship has lasted more than a year, my boyfriend is a great guy, always open to listen to my problems and always willing to work on what ever problems occur in our relationship. I don't know why but deep down I am still very scared that he is just faking it, that I am being blindsided again. Every time there is something off between us I get panicked and have the thought that he is fed up with me and planning to end this relationship too. If you have any advices on how to deal with this, I am more than happy to listen. Thank you for reading.
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