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powerfulFriend1590
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts20 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2025 Member sinceApril 10, 2024
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Did I handle this correctly?
Relationship Stress / by powerfulFriend1590
Last post
 July 15th, 2025
...See more My boyfriend and I 17F, 17M (been together almost 2 years) were having an innocent conversation on our experiences with p0rn and how we dealt with it when we were younger. I am very against watching it in our relationship and I have made that very clear, but I am confident he has not done that. However, we were on the topic of nud3s and he was talking about how guilty he feels for asking that of girls when he was middle school aged and all that. And he said that there was one girl he became friends with that he had recently apologized to for being so disrespectful in that way. Apologizing wasn’t my issue. In fact, I was very proud of him doing so and it made me proud that he was such a good person now and has grown so much especially because he is still technically young. It is very rare nowadays to find a man that not o lu doesn’t lust over other women, but can also see the damage of his own actions. Very respectable imo. However, what bothered me was the fact that he did not tell me he had contacted this woman. I also had never heard of this woman before. I was very hurt by the fact that he did not feel comfortable coming to me with his past and that he had also contacted this woman that he had known in this intimate way without me knowing. We had a long conversation, he explained every detail of how his apology went (very short and respectful), he told me he felt the need to apologize because of the overwhelming guilt of his actions and was scared to tell me because he thought i would think less of him for acting that way in the past (which is totally untrue). I reassured him that i am here for him and would have even encouraged the apology if he had just told me. I have BPD, so i tend to overthink things a lot. I asked how I would know he wouldn’t do something like this again. He promised to be more vulnerable with me and that there were no ill intentions in this situation. We have talked it out and I do forgive him, but I would like to know if I handled this correctly.
powerfulFriend1590 profile picture
Did I handle this correctly?
Relationship Stress / by powerfulFriend1590
Last post
 July 15th, 2025
...See more My boyfriend and I 17F, 17M (been together almost 2 years) were having an innocent conversation on our experiences with p0rn and how we dealt with it when we were younger. I am very against watching it in our relationship and I have made that very clear, but I am confident he has not done that. However, we were on the topic of nud3s and he was talking about how guilty he feels for asking that of girls when he was middle school aged and all that. And he said that there was one girl he became friends with that he had recently apologized to for being so disrespectful in that way. Apologizing wasn’t my issue. In fact, I was very proud of him doing so and it made me proud that he was such a good person now and has grown so much especially because he is still technically young. It is very rare nowadays to find a man that not o lu doesn’t lust over other women, but can also see the damage of his own actions. Very respectable imo. However, what bothered me was the fact that he did not tell me he had contacted this woman. I also had never heard of this woman before. I was very hurt by the fact that he did not feel comfortable coming to me with his past and that he had also contacted this woman that he had known in this intimate way without me knowing. We had a long conversation, he explained every detail of how his apology went (very short and respectful), he told me he felt the need to apologize because of the overwhelming guilt of his actions and was scared to tell me because he thought i would think less of him for acting that way in the past (which is totally untrue). I reassured him that i am here for him and would have even encouraged the apology if he had just told me. I have BPD, so i tend to overthink things a lot. I asked how I would know he wouldn’t do something like this again. He promised to be more vulnerable with me and that there were no ill intentions in this situation. We have talked it out and I do forgive him, but I would like to know if I handled this correctly.
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