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pscyhe2eros
1,548 M Little Steps 5
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts62 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2023 Member sinceJune 5, 2023
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Cried alone in my closet staring at a bagged up wedding dress
Relationship Stress / by pscyhe2eros
Last post
 July 28th, 2023
...See more I've never really felt this alone. I have a husband. Friends. Huge family. People I'm sure would be upset if I told them I felt like this at 1AM and would have insisted on me calling them. I'm not going to go into detail but my family *** up not accepting my boyfriend over seven years ago. I'm married to him now and suddenly they want to bury the hatchet and accept him as part of the family, essentially because they had "no choice". (Also, I feel like I have told this story several times and I don't have a lot of Friends, but friends in this case, would be the people I'd feel most comfortable talking about my relationship problems with.) He can't forgive my family for how they treated him (valid). It's a year into our marriage and we haven't gotten the legal part done yet because we were supposed to do something with my family and my husband backed out of it. Today we had a huge fight and I have no one to talk to about it. I can't talk to my family. I can't keep dumping this on my same friends. So I'm instead, crying at 1AM and I can't stop crying. I can't stop replaying our fight that we made up from. He suggested we "cool off" but there is no cooling off with me. I stew. I spiral. I can't help it. I've tried counting numbers to fall asleep (top score was 30 before I cried again and then would start back up at the top). I tried taking a shower. I tried journaling. I tried an ice bath for my face (which worked for a while). So I'm hoping that by shouting this into the void on the internet I can take power away from these stupid feelings I have (not to mention the terrible intrusive thoughts I get about divorcing him and backpacking across the united states.) I'm just trying right now to let my self feel what I feel in hopes that I can figure out what I'm going to do and it will look better in the morning
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