purpleMap9661 Member Profile

...See more So I met my girlfriend about a year ago and when we met we connected on an emotional level, we had some shared trauma and related to some of our independent struggles. Things were great for the first few months but I started noticing that we started drifting apart and I was able to catch that early and I tried to have a conversation with her about it. In the conversation she tried defending her position with the fact that she's gotten a lot busier at the time and I was well aware of that fact and after that I tried to adjust to accommodate her increased workload and not try to get in the way of her tasks. After that things were kind of unstable because she got inconsistent, sometimes I thought maybe she was going through things and I tried to adapt and be there for her but sometimes it felt like she was intentionally trying to devoid herself of me like I'd text and she won't reply despite reading the text. These all continued and it led to some fights and abstinence and every time it happened I got more frustrated. About a month ago now I was in a very bad place because I struggle with the fact that I don't really have anyone there for me emotionally(except her) and the problem between us made it even worse because I couldn't talk to her during that period. After a while I tried voicing out in my Whatsapp status(something I normally don't do) and that was when she asked if I was okay and I kind of took the frustration out on her, things got tense and I suggested we talked some other time and she said we would the next day but she didn't show up and two weeks went by before she finally reached out trying to apologize. I tried explaining my position to her and accused her of playing games in the process and she got defensive about that and towards the end of the conversation she asked me not to care for her like I used to because it's probably why my feeling got so hurt and that borders me. I lashed out at what she said and told her if I can't care for her then I can't love her because I don't know what love is otherwise and after that she told me she was gonna work on herself and I told her maybe we should give each other some space in the mean time, to figure things out. It's been a couple days now since that happens and every time I try to think about what happened and how to move forward all I feel is anger and pain and I don't know how to deal with it let alone figure out how to move forward.

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