...See more
How I can still be here, I'm not sure. In the last 2 years I have been through some seriously downright traumatic events. One after another, and they continue. The start of the chain of events was when my daughter was drinking too much, and it started changing her personality just like it did to my husband in the early years of our marriage. He got sober for the next 18 years, and relapsed shortly before my daughter became an alcoholic as well. Upon attempting to interviene I found myself getting physically and verbally abused by her. Someone called the cops one noght, I was coerced into filing a report, she got charges. She was so angry that she signed our 50% ownership of our property away. It was in her name due to my husbands relapse consequences financially. We then had to agree to pay a monthly payment. My husband could not pay it. We lost our home a month ago, and now live in our travel trailer. She moved out quickly, and has only spoken to me once since. Her and I were always very close. Our whole family was very close. A great team for many years. I was then an empty nester. I have known nothing other than being mom and wife since I was 15. Im 45 now. The next time she spoke to me was at the end of our oldest sons wedding. She pretended to want to hug me, lured me in, then hugged me so tight that I couldn't get free, and proceeded to say horrifically hurtful things in my ear quietly. I didnt really get out of bed (except for my sisters funeral a week later) for 5 weeks. I cryed nearly constant. I still do. 8 weeks later I was attacked by a sick horse determined to kill me, three days later I had knee surgery for a 4 year old injury. I have physical disabilities having to do with my nerves and bones. This was my 19th surgery. I decided to make real change for myself physically and having to do with my chronic pain issue after that near death experience. At the time we had been staying with a life long friend for 2 months while our place was having construction. During this time is when I figured out my husband had lied to me about being sober again, and found out he wasn't. I found out my friend wanted us to move in to pay her bills because she was filling divorce. Lots transpired. No longer friends. We move back into our place. And my husband started disappearing along with our money. The problem with gambling and substance abuse. The family I worked so hard to build as a close, supportive one fell apart. My husband caught a charge. I started running into things on my phone and online that were incriminating in terrible ways about my husband. During this time I did not realize these were "deep fakes" at The time. And being that trust was obviously an issue being worked on by both sides, my trust got worse. May- Oct of 2020 was filled with arguments, and questions. Oct. 14th I learned that there were people behind these plants of fail we information. Long story how I found out. After that, it turns out that it wasvl our neighbors who wanted us to break up and vacate the property so they could purchase it for farmland, along with our land partner who now owned 100% of it, and wanted us off so he could make more money. They broke into my home repeatedly, destroyed and vandalized most all of my possessions. Hacked into our phones. And yes this DID turn into a real life community stalking of us. I know how this sounds. For months no one believed me. My family and friends thought I had snapped. And I later found out that was part of the point. My husband who HAD witnessed incidents, seen the stuff inside our home that was ruined, missing, or messed up in some way. Was in denial, heavy denial. So I became determined to prove it, and began collecting data, files, photos, addresses, license plate numbers. I have mountains of proof and do know some identities of these people. The stalking continues, I think because of what I have as proof of it. They put my husband and I having sex online, multiple times. The many sick details of how I have been terrorized, threatened, ect are insurmountable. At least now my husband gas seen it, one of my sons has seen it and a couple of friends. So at least now I'm not alone with not even the local police taking me seriously. They threatened me, they neglected my complaints and claims. The day we moved out, a VERY questionable fire started in our house with no one in it but our 2 dogs. I walked in to see flames shooting right in front of the front door. Our pipes had frozen, no water. The extinguisher was in the kitchen. And I reacted in a way that ended up leaving me with severe burns covering both hands. I am still recovering. And the stress continues. And I am not sure where to get HELP from because on 4 occasions the police who I called for HELP, abandoned me, and wrote me off. My nerves are not well. I can't sleep more than a couple hours max at a time. I'm afraid to. My husband has not been kind. My friends are gone, my family is in pieces. And all of this is just the worst parts of it. There were other things along the way stuck in there. 7 months without water, 3 months without a fridge, an accidental household mixture that created a major exposure to Chlorine Gas for me, ect. Needless to say the PTSD, anxiety, stress, and the fact that I am not independent of needing someone to help me with a lot of basic living stuff. Has got me spinning out! I cope with meditation, empathy, self reflection, a lot of breathing...and sometimes I loose it and lash out and feel just angry angry angry for days at a time. I have found that I am much stronger, and much more stubborn than I ever thought. I have discovered creative talents I didn't know I had. And I found much more love, and acceptance of myself. And learned to be easier on myself. Any thoughts? Any advice? Any suggestions? Any questions to clarify anything?
