questforjoy Member Profile

...See more Hi everyone, I already feel blessed to have found this community because I’ve had no outlet for everything I am going through. I’ve been married for over ten years now and have been doing with a wife who spent the last decade ostracizing me from my friends and my family, constantly telling me she doesn’t like “so and so” and that her and I can form a strong relationship and grow together and that I don’t need anyone. After eight months of emotionally detaching herself from me (withdrawing all physical contact, refusing even to kiss me, no eye contact, rude, mean behavior - constantly trying to create arguments or twist words), she tells me that she wants a divorce. Her reasoning, “that we don’t like the same things and we’ve grown apart.” I’ve attempted to get us into marriage counseling but she has no interest. “I just want to focus on me” is what she says. Looking back on everything, throughout the years, any new friends we’d make as a group, if she saw I was hitting it off with the guy and we were getting closer, she’d pull the plug. She’d find some reason for us to not hang out anymore - “I don’t like them because they made that comment about the shoes, what is it THERE business?!” And mostly they were ridiculous assumptions. She has a knack for over analyzing situations and if she can’t find the direct reason why someone did XYZ, she’ll come to a false assumption and make an accusation. She’d then tell me spending time with whomever would be “disloyal” to our relationship. She even told me that spending time with my Dad was “disloyal” because he previously got onto our youngest daughter about not running up and down their stairs (simply saying hey please don’t run up the stairs I don’t want you to trip and get hurt.). Shes made it to be where I should not talk to anyone, make her the focus, and after years of doing this and giving my all for her and our children, she’s throwing in the towel and leaving me to be alone. This has me sincerely questioning my existence. I would never harm myself but it’s difficult to find anything enjoyable anymore. noteworthy: she doesn’t want us to “officially” get divorced until she completes her school and gets a full time job. Thus she wants me to continue living in the same house with her all the while dealing with her anger issues, hostility, rudeness, etc. I’ve reached out to my Dad and have reconnected with him, though there’s still animosity there, even, since I haven’t seen him in so long. what would you do in this situation? I have no one to talk to about any of this, so I appreciate you all reading such a long post. Really felt like I could use a hug today, haven’t had a hug in nearly a year. 😞

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