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quietAcai6634
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PathStep 9 Compassion hearts29 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2025 Member sinceMay 22, 2025
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Help with social situation?
Friendship Support / by quietAcai6634
Last post
 May 24th, 2025
...See more here’s a clearer picture of what’s going on: 1 — who i am 25, senior at X (engineering) in ireland for a 10-week study-abroad that started last weekend biggest comfort is my dog at home 2 — timeline of the roommate / exclusion situation Day & time What happened How i felt Sun (arrival) welcome bbq; i ordered beef, a server mooed → nobody reacted but instant body-image shame. humiliated, wanted to hide. Mon–Wed anxiety + jet-lag ⇒ i overslept & missed first 3 classes; now see myself as “the flaky one.” guilt + fear classmates wrote me off. Mon evening all 5 roommates + me discussed doing two things together: • Thur night: a pub crawl in town. • Fri: day trip to Galway city (we booked bus tickets). relieved—felt included. Thur (yesterday) • i attended class + lunch, no one posted final pub time.• ~9 pm: group-chat photo drops—roommates already downtown drinking. i’d heard nothing.• i reacted 💔; no one acknowledged.• realized they all follow each other on ***, not me. shock → humiliation → obsessive replay (“why didn’t they think of me?”). Thur 11 pm i DM’d Riya (one roommate) only to get bus details for Fri: “we’re walking at 9:45ish.” tone = neutral. grateful for info, but zero warmth. Fri 12:30 am (now) they’re still chatting happy/drunk updates in group. i’m in my room looping on the exclusion. racing thoughts, chest tight, want to bail on whole program / go home. 3 — what’s stuck in my mind WHY did they leave without me when i was literally in the same apartment? did i give off “don’t invite me” vibes because i missed classes? if i hadn’t DM’d, would they have ignored me for the bus too? how do i ask for an explanation without seeming desperate or giving them gossip fodder? should i still go on the 9 : 45 bus (ticket is paid) or skip to protect myself? bigger fear: this repeats my last study-abroad, where i was openly kicked out of a group. 4 — how the thoughts feel in my body constant “burn” in chest / stomach, racing heart ruminating, can’t sleep self-talk: “i’m fat, unlikable, pathetic at 25 for caring” homesick, crying to my mom, but can’t tell her details 5 — what i’d like from therapy right now a strategy to get closure (ask vs. observe) without amplifying shame tools to stop the thought loop long enough to sleep and attend class help deciding a boundary: how many times do i try with this group before pivoting? ways to manage body-image triggers while abroad contingency plan if i decide an early return is healthier thanks for reading all this—i know it’s long, but i’m stuck in “why did they do this?” and can’t quiet it.
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