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quietPerson7458
136 M Embraced 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2022 Member sinceSeptember 26, 2022
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Fantasy crush at work
Relationship Stress / by quietPerson7458
Last post
 September 27th, 2022
...See more I'm 27, my girlfriend is 26 and we've been in a relationship for the past 8 years (high-school sweethearts) We love eachother, care for eachother, moved together in another country 7 years ago. Currently we live in our own house and we try to enjoy ourselves as much as time allows outside work. I always have been an introvert, doing poorly in social situations and mostly a gamer but for the past 4 months I decided to change all of that, and now I'm interacting with a lot more people, quitted gaming and trying slowly to join more activities and taste a little bit of this so called life. Because of me being some sort of antisocial my girlfriend, changed and adapted for me, her being a more people person, and a more socially active being. Now, in the past months, I developed a 'fantasy crush' on a coworker. As I understand it, it's totally normal to have chemistry with another woman as long as you don't act on it. However, the thoughts and overthinking of 'what if?' started to itch harder and harder as times go by somehow affecting my relationship making me more distant. I consider this coworker really beautiful, attractive, positive and active person fitting my 'current' seek of more entertainment in life. We don't talk much, it rarely happens and for short periods of time but somehow we always manage to smile at eachother and our eyes always meet, which for me seems a bit intriguing since I'm not having the same experiences with other people. Form our short talks I belive we also have a lot of things in common and I also think she is single. Whenever, I see her a get a rush in my chest and I start overthinking which makes me seem feel strange. I don't think or I don't know if the feelings are mutual, but it's certain for me that we somehow have some kind of chemistry. The problem is that I don't want to lose my girlfriend, the house and all the emotional & financial investment done so far for pursuing a crush that might never lead to anything. The situation intensified as at some point this year as my girlfriend also had a crush on someone at her workplace. She changed her job though and we discussed about the 'fantasy crushes' that we have/had and reached to the conclusion that it is normal as long as we don't act on it. For me it seems like shes over it but I'm clearly not over mine 😅 and changing jobs is not an option for me because I like my job and I believe it's possible to happen again with other people since you can't hide from the world 🤣 I believe the solution will be trying to somehow reconnect with my girlfriend, however things always feel heavy for me when I'm around my work crush. Thank you for reading, and I'm looking forward to hear your opinions or questions 😊
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