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rabbitandthehare
1 204 M Embraced 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts23 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2026 Member sinceJanuary 10, 2025
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Another hello
Personality Disorders Support / by rabbitandthehare
Last post
 January 31st, 2025
...See more In the middle of January, I experienced trances that were triggered by the chaos of the students at my school. These trances took away my appetite, luring me deeper into them as my hunger grew. That's a large part of them. But as the days went on, and the weather got colder, there were school delays left and right, making some people not show up and classes a bit shorter. As they didn't show, my mind was never triggered. Although, there was a day where there were a lot more students than usual and I felt something rising in me, 'til I got in the classroom and everything was shut off. That was when I knew the trances did in fact exist and actually meant something. The number of students was still a bit low and I felt decent. Then I got sick, which sickness mutes my symptoms cause it physically makes me focus on me, if that makes sense. Sickness has just always muted my symptoms no matter what was wrong with my mental health. So, no trances, just a bunch of laughing because sickness makes everything funnier or something. I'm now recovering from sickness and the students still aren't fully there, so they're probably sick too. But the days have been fine. My stepmother has shown subtle signs that she's still the same person she was when I talked to her and tried doing things like wear one earring only. She's not home yet though, so it's fine. It makes me wonder though, how she'll react when I ask Father if going on the family trip is mandatory or not cause I wanna focus on my art and guitar so I can become the person I actually wanna be—free and figured out. I can't do that if I can't draw or haven't published a book yet. I don't have as much fun when I go on the trips with my stepmother anyway. I think I feel vulnerable. It just feels like if I was exposed to something terrible that lasted days or weeks my mental health would get bad again and it would stay bad. Idk. Bye
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So basically...
Personality Disorders Support / by rabbitandthehare
Last post
 January 15th, 2025
...See more Hi, I'm back at school—first day. Yippiee! My stepmother had to drive me because my bus had a different bus driver and didn't drive to my stop, so I had to be in a car with her, next to her for about 30 minutes. I don't like how she drives at all, and she talks out loud when she's frustrated, it just makes the whole atmosphere so much more tense than it needs to be. She was looking at her phone for moment, hitting the gas and moving the wheel at a minimum so her car went straight and didn't hit anything. I didn't like that very much. I just kinda feel like she's way too old to be like how she is when she's frustrated—complaining out loud as if I'm the one she's mad at, her tone and expression are always easy to read and 'sharp', and then usually she doesn't acknowledge it or say sorry or whatever afterwards. I don't know how to explain it, if that wasn't enough. I just feel like she's too old. The car got closer to the school and I think I got kinda anxious or something. Like, picture something dangerous coming towards you, and you're on the floor crawling backwards in pure terror. It felt scary walking through the hallway with wild teenagers in front of me, and it was weird because I saw multiple students without back packs. Some students kept looking inside of my French class, and I didn't like it. During lunch I felt hopelessness and a tad bit alone for a small moment because of being reminded of the students—they are lazy, wild, ignorant, immature, they lack manners and basic grammar, etc. I just really feel like I should be able to do whatever I want cause school is hopeless and my stepmother—I dislike her a huge amount. I wanted to pull my teeth out as I sat in the cafeteria. Can't go into detail with that though.
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Lobster — idk what to title this, sorry
Personality Disorders Support / by rabbitandthehare
Last post
 January 12th, 2025
...See more I had a vision yesterday, but it was like it was inside of a daydream, if that makes sense. It was quite vivid and I wrote it down cause I could remember it all. This was the vision: In a vision, the mind pictured a man. Screaming in possible agony, his face was quite expressive. He looked older—in his forties, but I couldn’t see his face clearly, only his short blonde hair, the wrinkles around his open mouth, a little chunk of his neck, and some small parts of the background. He was like he was in an alleyway. His head was very close to my eyes, I only saw his head. It was like he was looking into a camera. The lighting of this vision was mostly green, with a black tint, and grainy, like you’d see in a zombie game. There was a bit of red at the bottom, and I saw that his hair was a bit pixelated, but again, I couldn’t picture his face. Oddly enough I got triggered into it because someone was screaming in my daydream. That was yesterday. Today I felt desires forming—like a puddle inside my stomach, or maybe it was closer to my head? I don’t know, it happened a while ago. And I’m getting more attracted to disturbing things like I did in August–November. Just waiting for Monday (first school day after winter break) I don't know if I already said this but a few days ago, in the morning, my stepmother triggered me back into the impulsive feelings I used to get during that time I mentioned, and then I went into a spiral of worry and shaky rage the whole day. It's all been slowly coming back ever since. She makes me feel tense a lot
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