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raspberryClementine9603
1 587 M Embraced 4
PathStep 42 Compassion hearts37 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2026 Member sinceOctober 11, 2026
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Fixation on Self-Disasters
OCD & Related Behaviors / by raspberryClementine9603
Last post
 October 15th
...See more I keep focusing on small mistakes and see actions that happen afterwards, connecting dots that might not be connectable, and making it so much worse.  My brain doesn't let me trust it, and even when I try to slow it down to find out what the actual reality is, what is controllable, it tells me that I'm still ready for ruin. Still going to be in a disaster situation.  Conversations with people, I'll dwell on and then have to contact said person to either verify that I did not do something, or clarify, which then confuses them. I'll drive and feel like I ran a red light or sped, when I'm sure I did not, but then be convinced I did and that I'm going to go to jail. I'll think that I hit a car while parking or leaving, even though my car has no evidence of such, but then have to repeat my actions over and over and over.  Which then sometimes lead to other situations that will shift my focus to that. Today I did not let a delivery driver into my complex's clubhouse because I did not have the fob, and I could not open the door for him - when he left, it looked like he stopped by my car (which he saw me get out of) and took a picture of my license plate.  So i've convinced myself that he is going to stalk or steal my identity through that.  I'm tired of my overthinking and fixating brain and thinking I'm heading in a direction that my life will be ruined by outside forces or people out to get me for something I did not do or my actions/words were taken in a way that was not intended.
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