raspberryIdea3673 Member Profile

...See more Hey everyone. This is an issue that happened three months ago but I still can't get it out of my head and I need someone to listen and help me make sense of this. So around early March I got into a pretty heated argument with my boyfriend and he tried to leave me alone on the road in the middle of the night because he got very upset. We spent all of Friday afternoon together after not seeing each other for a week because of my studies and his work. Almost as soon as we saw each other there was tension, I know this because he kept throwing multiple jabs at me in the form of passive-aggressive comments, I tried to say nothing for hours to keep the peace but it got to the point that I couldn’t take it anymore and I gave him the silent treatment for a while afterward (it was an immature move on my part and I realize I should've communicated my feeling better). Things seemed to settle down at night and we hung out until it got pretty late, so he offered to drive me home (not without throwing another passive-aggressive comment at me, and again I said nothing). Things just escalated on our way to my place after he said he wouldn't tolerate my bad attitude forever, suddenly he was yelling at me in the car and we started arguing. About 10 minutes away from my place he stopped the car and opened my door, telling me to get out multiple times while snapping his fingers in my face and even threatening to call the police if I didn't leave, I refused to get out because he was trying to leave me out on the road at 1 in the morning with no one around. He eventually dropped me off at my front door and we tried to talk things out but ended up fighting again. In the end said some hurtful things so I got out of the car and he drove off. I tried to call him afterward to make sure he got home safe but he just taunted me on the phone and hung up, we didn’t speak for two days. A few days later we talked and sorted everything out except for the fact that he tried to leave me out on the road again, I say again because he actually did leave me alone a few months before this incident because of an argument we had leaving a nightclub. He didn't apologize then and he refuses to apologize now for doing it again, he says he leaves because he needs space so nothing bad will happen, which I completely understand, but not to the point where you leave your partner alone in the middle of the night without an afterthought, he said driving me home is a "privilege that must be earned and can be taken away" and I "must think of the consequences before getting angry with him". I know I acted poorly and his anger towards me is justified but the fact that he thinks it's okay to leave me alone like that and not feel an ounce of regret or remorse is unacceptable in my opinion. I try to convey to him how unsafe it makes me feel when he takes off like that, how worried I am about his carelessness for my safety in his moments of anger, and that it makes me afraid of how far he's willing to go when he's upset, his response was "I don't care, that's not my problem" and that I'm being dramatic. We couldn't find a middle ground and I practically had to beg him to promise not to do it again, but I'm still left feeling uneasy and can't trust him when he's upset. It's difficult to move on because I'm afraid he'll do it again or worse and he just kept dismissing my feelings. Am I being dramatic over this? Is he justified in leaving me alone like that? How do I stop feeling unsafe around him when cares so little about my safety when he's angry? We've been together for almost two years and I don't want to break up with him but I also don't know how to let this go.

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