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redLake6389
408 M Embraced 3
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts120 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2021 Member sinceJuly 28, 2021
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Where is the line between enjoyment versus addiction?
Addiction Support / by redLake6389
Last post
 October 24th, 2021
...See more I enjoy alcohol and marijuana. After a hard day or week at work, I look forward to drinking and/or getting high. Sometimes with friends, sometimes with my wife, sometimes by myself. It helps my brain relax and let loose. It recharges me. It makes everything more enjoyable, albeit only temporary. In my roughly 20 years of drinking and consuming marijuana, I’ve had two instances where I’ve done things that are terrible and uncharacteristic of me. Both of them happened within the last 6 months. The first one was an attempt to cheat on my wife, the second one was actually cheating on my wife. And I love my wife, so this doesn’t make any sense. I’m trying to figure out if my problem is an addiction to alcohol and/or marijuana. I drink/vape maybe 2 to 3 days out of the week, usually in small to moderate amounts. I’ll do it in higher amounts if I’m with friends and we’re together for a longer time. But that’s also when I cheated. I’m very disgusted in myself and hate myself. I’m trying to figure out how to fix my destructive behavior. The last 6 months of my life also coincide with two other emotionally traumatic experiences for me. I’m just trying to consider all possibilities right now, so let me start with the potential for substance abuse/addiction. Alcohol and marijuana are the two substances I use.
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