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redOak1856
1 267 M Embraced 2
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2026 Member sinceJanuary 13, 2025
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Healing from breakup and flashbacks
Trauma Support / by redOak1856
Last post
 May 2nd, 2025
...See more I know it’s going to take time to heal from the loss of my 26 year relationship from infidelity. Broke up September 2024. Read so much to understand what’s happening in my mind and been through talking therapy for 8 weeks and 12 weeks of Domestic Abuse awareness support. I keep hitting a brick wall though when I get flashbacks of photo and video images from his phone. Details below. I don’t know how to deal with them as when they pop up, it’s as fresh if not more painful than when I first viewed them. I know I needed to see the evidence of what my daughter kept telling me (Dads cheating) but the footage hit me harder than I could ever explain. I felt totally violated. I’m 51 and just want this to stop so I can move on and show up for my 14 year old daughter and 20 year old son. I feel so weak that this is still bothering me when everyone else just moves on. Any ideas? I found on cctv outside our house (him kissing the barmaid who drove him home) which he said he was drunk it was nothing, and the videos I found on his phone which he’d made when with prostitutes and naked masseurs giving him happy endings, also the women he paid for to go on a lads weekend to Benidorm; along with a history of chats. The texts to two other women while on our family holiday (which my 13 yr old daughter alerted me to! Texts about the sex he was planning and having with the barmaid literally on the same days as with me the week after the holiday. Obviously I ended us and asked him to leave, he denied it all and told me to stop listening to people, I never told him how I knew and left out the prostitutes as was scared how he’d react if he thought I’d been through his phone. He is still providing financially as joint homeowner and he is the main earner, we never married.
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