redWatermelon3091 Member Profile

...See more Finding it hard to talk about this with people in my life and I wanted to reach out to this community. My girlfriend and I (both early 30s) have been together 3.5 years and have lived together for 2. We are reaching what feels like an ultimatum point although it may not be an actual ultimatum. She is running out of patience with me not proposing and all her friends have been getting married the last couple years, so there is pressure. She wants me to take her ring shopping next week for her birthday and to be engaged around the end of the year. I’ve been driving myself crazy going back and forth about this decision for over a year now. I’m not sure how I feel about marriage in general, and starting a family yet, although I think I do want those things. I have always liked my alone time and gotten more bored and depressed as long term relationships go one. There’s still a part of me that wants to run away and start over in order to focus on myself and grow, and it seems to be a gut feeling in the middle of the night. The other rational side of me knows that I might be happier if I make the choice and take away all other options. I am very physically attracted to her but get annoyed often by what she wants to talk about all the time. She is very emotional and I’m not. I am reserved and not as in touch with what I want, but am working on it. I feel like I’ve lost myself a bit and my life revolves around her. I feel a bit trapped, and everyone I talk to like family, friends and my therapist give vague, safe advice that isn’t very actionable or helpful. I’m not sure what to do and the time pressure has stressed me out a lot, affecting my sleep and mental health.

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