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reservedAcai5282
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts24 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes16 Current upvotes16 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2026 Member sinceJuly 28, 2026
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Stressful Working environment
Work & Career / by reservedAcai5282
Last post
 August 25th
...See more I started at a new organizational unit in February. My colleagues there have a hard time opening up, and I was often left out of things — both my manager and a female colleague did this. I thought things would improve once a new colleague joined in March (the team was expanding), someone I already knew from before — let's call her GY. At first it was really good, even though the others stayed distant. Now it's July. A few weeks ago I started noticing I'm being left out again. GY, the colleague I already knew, has become so close with one of the colleagues who was already there (let's call her N) that they even chat on Messenger outside of work. My manager (let's call her O) has also been acting strangely toward me. For about 3 weeks now, when GY talks to the group, she looks at everyone except me. When she does talk to me, she avoids eye contact and uses an odd tone of voice. If GY, T (the 4th colleague), or O need help with something that falls under my responsibilities, they ask N to help — even though it's not her role. When I talk about things from home, like my dog, they don't react or pay attention. But when N arrives in the morning, they immediately ask about her dog. If someone asks a question, they ask N for her opinion. My opinion is never asked for. They don't wish me a good vacation when I go, and they don't ask how it was when I get back. I feel like I'm constantly making mistakes, and that it's being talked about behind my back. This morning they barely greeted me when I came in, didn't even ask how I was. I asked if their vacation went well — my manager answered half-heartedly, and GY just muttered "It wasn't good." Then an hour later when N arrived, GY greeted her cheerfully, almost singing. O started telling N all kinds of things, including matters that fall under my job responsibilities. While O was on vacation, something happened with one of my cases. GY, T, and N discussed it among themselves without asking me at all. I explained how it should be handled, but they didn't even listen — N said it was nonsense and not the right way to do it. In the end they decided to take it to the director because they disagreed with how we'd handled it before. This morning I went to make coffee, and when I came back GY and O were talking but stopped and got vague as soon as I walked in. It wasn't about me — it was about a personal situation of O's that's uncomfortable for her. I don't need to know everything, and I don't even want to. But it really hurts that I'm left out of conversations, that they don't believe me, and that my opinion is never asked for. Even though they know what I used to do in my previous role, they still don't ask me to help with certain tasks — they'd rather go to the director. It's like I don't even cross their minds. O recently had a birthday. We started organizing it, set the table, planned a surprise. Everyone finished their part before I did — I was last because I was washing my hands — but by the time I got there, GY, T, and N had already congratulated her. They didn't wait for me. This morning I asked GY for some office supplies from the storage room. She asked me to send her an email about it later, and to also mention — kindly — the item she'd brought up for T the other day. I've now received what I asked for from her, and she gave some to N as well. Then just NOW she discussed with N that N should write her the email about this, including the item she'd given T the other day. She'd agreed on this exact same thing with me less than an hour earlier, yet now she's handling it with N instead. Am I imagining this? Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? I'm devastated, because I didn't change jobs to end up in a much worse environment. I thought after a few months it would get better. Instead it's much worse. I'm heartbroken and don't know how to handle it. I can't just not notice these differences in behavior. On their better days they're kind, and I start to convince myself I'm being paranoid. But then something happens again and it all starts over. What did I do that changed their behavior toward me? Was it that I don't agree with their political views? Was it that GY and I had a bad day a few weeks ago and vented our grievances to each other a bit more than usual, and after that she changed and turned completely in a different direction? I'm sad.
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